I’ve talked about my love of patterns before – I love patterns – it’s one of the reasons I like material. Material always has a pattern. So does wallpaper. So do we. In fact we have many patterns. Not the patterns on our clothes (although we have them there too) or the freckles on our skin. Our patterns are to do with behaviour, our behaviour. A simple pattern of behaviour would be…. when a particular thing occurs you always do something, the same something.
One example: when someone (anyone) shows displeasure you (always) feel you’ve disappointed them and you attack yourself internally. To complicate matters the displeasure might not even be real, but that’s another topic. So, the someone may have a look on their face or they may be saying the word No or they may be disagreeing with your opinion. Whatever sign they are showing of their displeasure is irrelevant to your next step…. a feeling of disappointment and internal attack.
It’s a bit like a dance. The someone takes a step, then, you take your step. You, me, all of us learned this dance early in our lives and it worked really well then. It got us what we wanted, comfort and attention. We danced it so much we forgot we were dancing, so that even when it doesn’t work we dance. The only one who can stop the dance is you… but first you have to notice it.
What’s your pattern? Mairead.