This feels a bit like confession – it’s been three months since my last blog. And since then I’ve been learning how to make videos in the fridge for my Instagram. Applying to be on the Late Late for Small Business (wasn’t pickedš) Figuring out how to get started on Twitter. Getting (almost) comfortable on Facebook. Risking extreme embarrassment asking local shops if they would stock the cards – without success š³ while an adorable shop (called Sunfleck) in Dungarvan found me and asked to stock them! So, they’re in a shop! And today I sent my first newsletter.
These past five months since I launched Permission CardsĀ have been a blast and in case you don’t know, you have played a huge part in that. I didn’t know it when I started but a big part of selling online involves writing. Writing posts to different social media platforms, different accounts, groups, writing copy for the website, writing and answering comments, writing thank you notes to customers, writing emails, writing a newsletter. So all the times I was writing to you from our travels in the camper van or on the motorbike I’ve been in training for this season of my life. If you hadn’t been reading I wouldn’t have been writing to you. Go raibh maith agat! Look at what you did – you have been supporting my small business!Ā Thank you! May we continue to walk each other home for years to come.
And finally, just in case you don’t follow me onĀ social media I wanted to tell you about the discount I’m sharing at theĀ moment. It’sĀ 15% discount off Permission Cards until Sunday 28th November. Go to https://permission.cards and use the code THANKYOU at the checkout.
Saw this in Portumna, Co. Galway. For some reason it makes me think of social mediaā¦
Well Iāve never been more grateful that I write a blogā¦ well I havenāt actually written a blog post since March but Iām still grateful I wrote a post in March. Let me explainā¦ itās been 5 months since I wrote to you and a lot has happened.
Wild flower. Not weed!
The website (https://permission.cards) has changed utterly. The cards are different. And I think itās possible Iām different tooā¦for one thing Iām making videos. Yes, I donāt know what inner voices I shut down to do that but I shut them down. And now Iām talking to camera like itās ok, like Iām not a complete idiot, like Iām even comfortable exposing myself (fully clothed at all times.) And I am comfortable. Mainly.
Got a new coffee jug
Iām comfortable until I wake up with a thought in my head that Iām a fraud or too old or ugly or a failure. Those days are hard because itās kinda natural to want to hide away on Bad Thoughts Days. And sometimes I do hide. Do you have this experience where you start the day with those thoughts and you go into social media and every post you see confirms your thoughts? I have. So on the really bad bad thoughts days I canāt go into social media and I canāt post anything. And posting on social media is kinda my whole marketing strategy (thatās a blog all to itself!)
Muddy track near Shannonbridge Co. Offaly
Funnily enough though, this routine of posting to social media makes me notice those bad thought days in a way I never noticed before. In the midst of a Bad Thoughts Day I think every day is a Bad Thoughts Day. I completely forget that yesterday wasnāt. I think āthis is going to go on foreverā and sometimes I believe that thought longer than I need to.
Having to post everyday makes me realise Bad Thoughs Days are not everyday. My posts show me that I must have been grand on lots of days because I have lots of posts.
So… the website Permission.Cards is live. I can tick that off the must do list and move it to the must improve list. Iām not great at focusing on one thing at a time so it might seem logical to believe that I would jump from one thing to the next easily. And I do. And in case you didnāt know, it doesnāt work very well. I get less done. Iāve had to teach myself to focus on one thing until I have gone as far as I can go with it and then move to the next thing and focus only on that until itās time to stop and move on to the next thing. Iāve been working on this strategy for years but it is only in this last strange year that I have made progress. And again the cards are helping me.
The Permission to slow down one has been huge for me. Iām not sure what the rush was? For example Iāve been doing the bookkeeping for Denis for the last 13 years. For the first 12 years I hated it. Then last year somehow I realised there was no rush. I could slow down and do it right. Seems like common sense. But it was news to me. When there was a mistake in the past I was stressed and panicked! How was I going to solve this and what if I didnāt get everything finished in time?
We saw this on a beach at Skreen, Co. Sligo last August.
When I slowed down I could see there are always mistakes, Iām always making mistakes and so is everyone else (whether they realise it or not) itās only human. But when I started slowing down I made less mistakes and my understanding of the process improved.
The Slow Down Packs
Thatās one of the reasons I wanted to make a Slow Down pack. The other reason is I have a lot of friends and family who are run off their feet busy. I would love to know if intentionally slowing down is possible or even helpful for people who have a lot on their plates and live a very busy life. Or would it just put extra pressure on them?
I didnāt expect to be back to you so soon with this news – Denis made the website! For the Permission Cards. Click here to visit! If you have any ideas about what I should do to make it better let me know. For instance, I changed postage because there were so many options and was struggling to make it clear. Now postage is included in the price. And then thereās customs – can anyone explain that in one sentence? And Brexit, does that add another dimension?
Iāve decided to journal my journey here on the blog because Iām learning a lot and Iād really like to share that with you and get your input. Also, I donāt want to forget what Iāve learned or to forget that it takes a long time and what confuses or frustrates me today will be forgotten next month. Generally Iām not excited to learn new things and thatās not good for a human who wants to live to be 105 (at least!) I get very frustrated when I donāt understanding something. Not helpful. But thatās changing and the cards are helping. I have two sitting in front of me now.
They are, Permission to make mistakes and Permission to take baby steps. Babies donāt get frustrated when theyāre learning to walk. They donāt get upset about mistakes. They just get on with it, no self judgement. This baby-step-accept-mistakes-as-normal process is slow but you still get the learning done, it lasts and youāre not in danger of being overwhelmed.
Being overwhelmed is not helpful. Taking baby steps is, Mairead.
Edited 5th December 2021ā¦ If you landed here looking for Permission Cards, this is a blog post from the time I was making the prototypes for the actual cards you can find at https://permission.cards. Have a grand dayā„ļø
Well… it looks like we won’t be travelling anywhere soon. I thought that would upset me more than it does. But it doesn’t, I am very happy pottering away inside my home with the odd excursion to collect groceries. (An experience exciting for all the senses and not as insignificant as I used to think. But I’m getting sidetracked.) Instead of travelling to other countries or even counties, we walk around the neighbourhood – separately, he walks too fast, I talk too much… We also work separately, he has a very organized workspace, Iām a bit messy. Other than that we are together every single moment, eating, watching stories on the big (enough) screen, sleeping and arguing. Yes we do argue. But as we only have each other we canāt be bothered keeping an argument going, it turns out lifeās too short. Denis taught me that, I used to love keeping an argument going. Iām right, how can I stop before he understands that? Turns out everyone thinks theyāre right – understanding is overrated.
Little box of Permission Cards
I’m working on a new creative project. It all started pre-2020 when Denis was putting a board game in the recycling bin. (Remind me to tell you the name of the board game.) To be clear that doesn’t happen, ever, but this was a unique board game. It was designed to be used for one long game over the period of a year and then not reused… Seeing the cards in the recycle bin made me sad. I love paper and card and these were still fully functioning pieces of card, how could anyone throw them out? Maybe I could save them. I did. I already have lots of saved paper and card and at that time I had no organisation, just one big box. In the cards went, never to be seen again… until 2020.
My 2020 started with a lot of excitement (our son got engaged!) followed by a lot of fear (no explanations necessary) followed by a lot of gardening (thank you, Eilish!) followed by a lot of card making. I made cards to remind myself I could say, NO. I made thank you cards, to remind me that the small things are actually big things. Small things like getting groceries and garden supplies were very, very big things. Small things like getting post in the post box, were very, very big things. Small things like receiving offers of help were enormously big things. And then there’s the overwhelmingly big things like front line staff and especially for my family, the nursing home staff who have been going above and beyond to take care of the most vulnerable, including my mother. I had a lot to be thankful for so I made a lot of thank you cards.
It felt like I was reorganising my inner space and so naturally I started to reorganise my outer space too. And that turned out to be very freeing. I dumped loads and gained empty space and found the cards and paper I had been saving. What had I been saving it for? I didn’t know at the time but it turns out I was saving it for now. In amongst all the paper was Denis’ board game cards, looking just as lovely as they had when I first met them. I gave them their own place on a shelf. In November we (the cards and I) started working together. I worked on them and they worked on me.
The Permission Cards began when I was chatting with a friend and she said something mean to herself and it just popped out of my mouth, how about if you give yourself permission to be kind to yourself for the rest of the day? Then I promised to make her a permission card to remind her and we went on to talk about something else. I’ve been hard on myself my entire adult life, itās a habit that I donāt hear but as soon as I hear someone else being hard on themselves, I notice. I needed this Permission to be kind to myself, too.
Later that day I took one of the recycled cards off the shelf and made a permission card for my friend… and it was for me too. As I made it I read it. Over and over again. I was reading that I had permission to be kind. To myself. My first thought was, “…that’s a bit selfish isn’t it?!” My second thought was, “who said that?” Something I’d heard long ago made sense: We are not our thoughts. Some thoughts are part of a flawed belief system and it’s not always possible to spot them before obeying them. So in this case, I thought that being kind to myself was a bad thing. What if it wasnāt a bad thing? What if it was okay to be kind to myself. Maybe even for the whole day? It’s a big ask so Iām taking baby steps.
With every card I make I am being kinder to myself. Even when I make mistakes! And I’m creating even when it’s ugly. I’m ignoring what does not serve me. I’m making the right decisions for me… on and on these little cards are working on me.
And now I’m selling them! Denis has promised to set up a sales website when he’s less busy (I recognise potential for a future argument here but lifeās too short, right?) In the meantime it’s just via email (mairead@hennessynet.com) and instagram (@creativecalm_cards). Get in contact if you want to see the full list of Permissions and I’ll send you an order form and prices. They are handmade so they take a long time to make but fortunately the cards give me permission to take my time – so all good.
Tiny Handmade Permission Cards made from recycled playing cards
Oh and the name of board game? Pandemic. Yup, that’s what it was called. Twilight Zone stuff. Mairead.
Ps He set up the website, itās called Permission.Cards Tap or maybe Click to have a look!
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