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Success Teams Blog

| Mairead

(Continued from yesterday… Five Lives.) The kind of story I want to be in is one where every day I’m involved in something that lifts my heart.

You see, down in the everyday “stuff” of life it’s easy to get stuck and think you’re not worthy or that your ideas are useless or that you’ll make do with a life you find boring. Because…. it takes a lot of courage to do the things that you love, to share the ideas that you have, to go for the exciting (to you) things. It takes courage to lift your voice up and say “this is what I want.” It takes courage to wonder “what do I want?”

Fortunately, it doesn’t take much courage to lift your heart. It lifts on its own every time you are involved in something you love….. in sport, art, writing, walking, cooking, riding your motorbike (he, he)…. what is it for you?

(Nice cup of tea)

When your heart is lifting….. then you can make up a new story, of a new life.

When I finished the Wishcraft book and wanted more I searched the internet and found that Barbara Sher had devised Success Teams. A team doing the exercises in order to find out what you wanted and then encouraging you to go for it….. But there wasn’t one in Ireland.

I’d have to set it up in Ireland.

Oh, my goodness the FEAR……I’m not worthy, this is a terrible idea, I’ll make do with reading the book again. But it wouldn’t go away. So bit by bit I started telling people and something about my passion for the idea grabbed them too.

They joined me in my story and now we’ve completed the eight weeks course.  Each of us has our own project to lift our hearts. Each one of us is at a different stage. Each one of us feels the fear from time to time and then we meet and the team keeps us going. Going towards what we want.

And the amazing thing to me is…. it’s not about what we want at all…. it’s all about the journey towards it.

Thank you, (in alphabetical order, women!) Ashleigh, Frieda, Julie, Marion, and Molly – my team mates, for lifting my heart when I couldn’t! And now I’m going to do it again.

(For the Wicklow team who played today – Burn the Boats but Keep the Passion!)

Want to build a team to lift your heart when you can’t? Send me an email (mairead@hennessynet.com) or ring (086 827 2332) and get on the next team!

To your soaring heart from mine, Mairead.

Five Lives

| Mairead

(Bren’s Birthday Sweet Pea)

So, yesterday (Come on Wicklow) I was giving an example of one of the exercises in Barbara Sher’s Book, Wishcraft. It’s called….Five Lives. In it you imagine you have five lives and what would you do with each one? So, she helps you by saying if you could be YOU five times and explore a different talent or interest or lifestyle, what would they be?

(My patchwork tiled table – hasn’t fared well in the cold and wet winter, it needs some help)

Well…. I was off in dreamland with that one. But if that wasn’t enough she goes on to tell me (in the book, I’ve never met her!) what Gene, a 47-year-old mortgage banker, wrote for his five lives.

Gene’s Five Lives: 1. Head of Department of Housing and Urban Development. 2. A fishing guide. 3. A novelist. 4. A radio announcer for major league baseball (Gene is probably American…..). And already I start to realise, anything goes – Gene didn’t even have five lives on his list and he made it into the book! Gene is picking crazy things…… and that’s ok too…..

(Tea and courgette plants at Laura’s house)

And that’s what comes out again and again – it’s your story. YOUR LIFE is your story to make up as you go along. You can choose how the story goes. And the exercises help to find out what kind of story you want to be in….

(Summer’s here!)

You might want to try the exercise for yourself? Or not? Either way I’ll continue the story tomorrow.

What’s the story? (A form of greeting in Cork…. or is it Tipperary?) Mairead.

The story of Zac and the pooh.

| Mairead

During December I spent some time with my nine year-old niece, who seems to attract trouble, skillfully! She has inspired me to write the following story. (By the way, my sister, her Mum, discovered that she had started to re-write the story using a new spelling for the stuff that was attracted to Zac. She guessed adults might not like the word poo….. I respect my neice’s wisdom so I have changed the spelling in the following version.)

Story for Caoimhe.

Once upon a time there was a little boy who had an unusual skin problem, pooh of all kinds was attracted to him. Wherever he went pooh flew to him like iron filings to a magnet. His Mum and Dad and his Granny cleaned off this pooh so that the boy could walk among the people of the village without being laughed at or shunned. But the boy hated this cleaning. He shouted and raged against his parents and Granny. You see he didn’t know that he was constantly covered in pooh and he didn’t smell it. One day he was so angry (about the cleaning) that he ran out into the garden and screamed and screamed. When he finally got tired of screaming he stopped and immediately heard a quiet voice whisper,

“Zac, would you like to see my magic mirror?”

Over by the compost heap stood a little fairy girl and in her hand was a tiny little mirror. The little boy was astonished because he had never seen a fairy before and he didn’t realise fairy’s could speak.

“Yes, please”, he whispered.

So the fairy girl held up the mirror in her two hands and Zac looked in, and for the first time he saw that he was covered in pooh. He jumped back in fright and landed in a patch of carrots, on his bum. He was very surprised and nearly missed what the fairy girl said next.

“Now Zac, look as I turn the mirror over.”

And he looked and what he saw was so… so…. so…. beautiful and so handsome and so lovely that he smiled – a very big smile. And when he smiled that very big smile he saw himself in the mirror shining like a bright light for everyone to see and admire. Then the fairy girl whispered,

“Zac, its time to let go of the pooh.”

But the little boy didn’t know how to do that so the fairy girl gave him instructions:

“First, every day for the next 21 days while your Mum and Dad and Granny clean off the pooh you have to stand very still. Second, after the 21 days are up, come out here and meet me again and I will give you my magic mirror and further instructions.”

Zac did exactly as he was told and 21 days later returned to the spot by the compost heap where the fairy girl was waiting. She held up the mirror and he saw how gorgeous he was and when the mirror was turned over he saw that he was gorgeous on that side too.

“How come I look so great on both sides, now?”, he asked…. and the fairy girl replied, “Because now, Zac, you are as beautiful on the outside as you always were on the inside.”

And the fairy girl gave Zac the mirror and told him to check from time to time how he was doing on the outside, but to always know that, “you are beautiful, radiant, and shining always, always, always on the inside, where it matters.”

From that day on only small bits of pooh clung to Zac and when he looked in the mirror and realised they were there, he stood still and cleaned them off, himself. But always, always when he looked at the other side of the mirror he was beautiful, handsome, gorgeous and radiant.

The End.

Is there something you want to do?

| Mairead

One of my friends, Laura, has returned from her second trip this year on the old pilgrim’s way in Spain called the Camino. Laura initially was due to travel with her friends but work commitments meant they had to cancel, so she travelled alone. This was the first time since she got married that she ever needed to travel alone, other than to work related conferences or seminars. Therefore the experience of going abroad alone was not familiar and it wasn’t attractive. Although she did want to go, she was apprehensive about going solo. Anyway, she took her courage in her hands and booked the ticket four days before her flight.

And that’s when she started to panic.

She was able to recall (vividly) every story she’d ever heard of a lone traveler who came to a gruesome end. In an effort to calm herself she started to tell her friends and family how she felt. But far from calming her they were able to provide even more terrifying stories, with definitive advice that she should not go!

Added to this (or maybe because of this) she wasn’t sleeping well, so that by the time she got to Dublin airport she was exhausted and on edge! On the flight things did get a little better because she sat down beside a lovely couple and had a very interesting conversation. That is, until she told them what she was about to do and they had some more stories with bad endings! As the huge cabin door swung open Laura thought the best thing might be to remain on the plane. Of course she couldn’t….. so she got out. Saying goodbye to the couple she set off with her belongings for the next five days (including walking poles) on her back and went to find her bus. There was still time do she stopped at a little cafe, got a coffee and settled herself. As she was about to sip her coffee, there was a loud clatter – both her walking poles lay in a heap blocking the aisle between tables. Embarrassed and annoyed at herself for being incompetent she bent down to pick them up. At the same moment someone else was reaching for the poles, and as happens, smiles were exchanged and conversation began.

“Are you doing the Camino?”

“Yes, you too?”

These were the first words for days that brought calm. For the next four days the two walkers kept each other company. Although some of the walking was difficult it was made easier by the companionship. companionship that just turned up when it was needed.

Since that trip Laura has gone back again – alone – and this time company was provided again. The difference this time was that she found that although she loved talking and listening to the many people she met she knew she didn’t need them to stay with her or to be there for her, she knew she could let them go or she could go and more company would be provided.

In case this sounds a little selfish in the retelling please be assured when the story was told to me I heard only selflessness. The selflessness of allowing others to be themselves and to enjoy them being that without the need to ‘steal’ their time.

Laura is planning to complete the Camino (all 890 kilometers of it!) at her own pace and in her own lifetime.  Alone or not she now knows whatever she needs will be provided.

Coincidentally Mike, a friend I’ve known for a long time called while I was writing this post. I met Mike when he was my boss in a software company, his job was to turn me into a programmer! Since then his life has changed a lot. In 2002 he was a software development manager but now he’s got a psychology degree and works as a counsellor. This isn’t the normal progression of a career in software! It’s also not the way to go to have a normal progression of salary for a man with three teenage children.

Mike was made redundant. He paid off a loan with the lump sum; cancelled his life insurance, his pension and his health insurance; he took a part-time job, and decided to pursue a career in something that had come to his attention by accident.

It’s a terrifying story!

I’m making it sound quick by putting it into one sentence, but it took time and there were lots of scary moments. He says he didn’t have a lot of choice, there wasn’t enough money to pay for the luxury of insurance.

“There was only enough for what was needed right now, not what we might need in the future.”

Then he remembers he did have some choice. He could have gone back to a former employer in software and got a full-time job but he didn’t. In software all he could look forward to was retiring, with this new career he was looking forward to every day for the rest of his life.

Even though they had very little money and no ‘guarantee’ that they were protected from what might happen he knew that his (and his family’s) new quality of life was better than it had been. He recalls going for a walk one day after dinner with his wife and noticing the commuters coming out of the train station looking weary and hungry, and he knew he was doing the right thing for him.

And as time passed money came in from unlikely sources and they always had enough. The one near crisis for his teenagers was when they were going to have to sell the car, but in the end the car stayed and the crisis was averted! They now manage to run two cars – without the ‘BIG’ job.

When Laura wanted to go walking on the Camino, she began a journey, she did the things she needed to do to get there (even when she was afraid), and what she needed was provided. Incidentally, one of the things she hung onto in the four terrifying days before the flight was the encouragement she got from people who had travelled the Camino. People who had the courage to begin their journey.

When Mike went to an information day with a relationship counselling organisation as a favour to his wife, he found something he really wanted to do and he began a journey. When he was made redundant, he got an opportunity to make a choice. He did the things he needed to do to get where he wanted to go (even though he had to trust without a guarantee that he and his family would survive financially). And what he needed was provided. One of the things provided was his supportive and encouraging wife, June. Mike says “I couldn’t have done it without her.” And he didn’t have to.

Is there something you want to do? Would it be useful to trust that what you need will come (even if only just in time)? Do you want to start that journey today? Is there someone who has made that journey before? Are you willing to do what you need to do when you need to do it?

Stop asking yourself “Why am I so Stupid?”

| Mairead

Watched a movie called The Fastest Indian on DVD last week. It’s about a guy called Burt Munro from New Zealand who had a dream to set a land speed record on his Indian motorbike across the salt flats in Utah. It’s based on a true story and set in the 1960’s.
In his sixties himself, Burt had perfected his bike to run at speeds above 100 mph, so he worked his passage from New Zealand as cook aboard a ship on route to California. In the end the bike went even faster and the record Burt set is still unbroken over 40 years later.

Anthony Hopkins plays Burt, and really nicely introduces us to a friendly man, with his own ideas and a determination to follow his dream.

He reminds me of my daughter!

I attended a workshop recently where the learning is experiential and particularly about seeing the big picture first. Only then do get to notice the little bits and pieces and to put those bits and pieces into your own jigsaw puzzle. For me this is a very different way to learn and I sometimes struggle and fight with it. But when my picture starts to emerge it is both magnificent and solid.

What’s emerging for me at the moment is the connection between the movies, The Fastest Indian and The Shadow of the Moon and the concept of dealing with problems. In the past when there was something bothering me I thought about it, figured out what I had done wrong, figured out what that meant about me and about others and about life, asked myself over and over “Why did I do …?’, wrote about it, talked to others about it and in general felt terrible about it. I had been doing this for years and had ‘perfected’ my problem-based strategy!

Then I learned a possibility-based strategy. This is where you start at your best and you deal with everything from that place. So, I learned how to use this nearly three years ago, and I am learning to understand it slowly, since then.

Today another piece of my jigsaw fell into place.

When I saw In the Shadow of the Moon (see Recent Post) it had a very strong impact on me. As in life the details of this impact slowly unfold…

When President John F Kennedy predicted that the USA would land a man on the moon and return him safely within the decade he set up a goal for his country and particularly for the men and women who worked in the space program.

The Apollo artifacts in a museum in Cape Canaveral are very flimsy. The pod they parachute down to earth in looks like its made of golden tin foil. The processing ability of the computers they used then is no more powerful than a calculator (just a little heavier!)

Yet… they did it.

Burt Munro had a dream to set a land speed record with his Indian motorbike. When manufactured, this motorbike’s maximum speed was about 50 miles per hour. He worked on it for hours every day, making new parts out of scraps of metal smelted in a pot in the run-down shed where he lived. He used his neighbour’s carving knife to turn his ordinary tyres into high-speed tyres.

Yet…. he did it. Funny enough both stories are set in the 1960’s, but that’s not the link.

When the astronauts and space craft builders were starting to create something that would go to the moon their space ships kept exploding. Lots and lots of problems. I’m not sure but I’m guessing they didn’t spend a lot of time criticising themselves for getting it wrong AGAIN. If they had spent the time going over and over what they did wrong they may never have got to the moon. Their timeframe was set, they had to do the job within 9 years. (Because President Kennedy said they would….)

So they had to look for ways around their problems.

Burt had many, many problems – the biggest – he didn’t have enough money to go to America, was solved by his friends. But when he got to Utah he realised that he could not enter the trials – he hadn’t registered. He didn’t beat himself up and use his energy asking “Why am I so stupid?” His timeframe was set, the event would be over in 3 days.

He looked for ways around his problems.

Both the people in the space program and Burt Munro kept the dream in sight and looked for ways around the problems. All the time assuming they would make it to the moon or to the line drawn across the salt flats in Utah.

Stop wasting your life beating yourself up for doing something wrong. Stop asking yourself Why am I so stupid? Use your problems as feedback to find a way around them, That didn’t work, what else could I try or how could I do this another way? Use the energy saved to keep your moon in view.

By the way, it’s not the dream that’s all that important, they come and go. But the dream is really, really useful because….. in that direction lies your bliss. But that’s another story!