judgement – Travel stories

15 10e

(Ira Glass quote stuck on inside front cover of personal notebook)

It’s very early and the temperature has been dropping in the last few days so I’m cold and tired. The perfect scenario for returning to a nice warm bed… but that’s not going to happen. I’m going to type for an hour, get breakfast, a shower and go to my classes. But there’s something on my mind…. my personal notebook. I’d explain here what a personal notebook is but I’m not exactly sure yet myself and I wouldn’t like to steer you wrong.

15 10b

(Printing practice)

The personal notebook has been mentioned at various times since my course began. Initially I thought it was about the things I loved and I started to stick pictures of Monet paintings and patchwork quilts into an A5 notebook. Soon I realised I needed to add my daily drawing practice… and my notes and photographic examples of my notes and the mixed paint cards done in class. Then there was the dark day I realised the personal notebook would be part of my coursework…… It would be marked…. it’s been difficult to add anything to it since then. To be honest it’s always been difficult to mess up a new notebook, especially a nice one. I think that was because I usually judge my efforts and find them lacking. Is it possible someone else judging my efforts will be easier? Unlikely.

15 10c

(Perspective practice)

This weekend I made another stab at messing up my personal notebook (It’s now an A4 hardback notebook) and with the aid of this Ira Glass quote I’m learning to stop judging my efforts and keep up my practice.

15 10f

(Writing and spelling practice)

On a completely different topic, I have learned that the page size numbering system – A2, A3, A4, A5, etc. is all about how many times a sheet that size fits into an A1 (huge) sheet. For example, four A4 sheets fit into an A1 or five A5 sheets fit. That’s why an A5 sheet is smaller than an A4!

Practice, practice, practice, Mairead.

(Butterfly enjoying the sun)

The last stop on our Round the United Kingdom, Short Motorbike Tour was Swansea. We went there to attend our daughter’s end of year exhibition. Twelve movies in one evening… don’t worry they were short, about five minutes each. Ciara wrote and directed her movie and she also had an acting role. She played a lesbian. The evening before one of her friends asked her if she was afraid that people would think she was gay. She said she had worried about that for the previous six months…. it was too late now. It was more important to get her message out there, afraid or not, other people’s judgements or not.

(Butterfly enjoying some lavender)

When you want to follow your dream, and live your life with purpose, there are sometimes scary things you’ll need to do. And you’ll wonder if this is a good idea…. this sharing of your dream, your wishes, your message, your contribution to healing the world. What will people think? What will they say? How will they treat you? Will they be different? Will they ever speak to you again? Will they understand? Will their judgement resonate with your own judgement of yourself… and make it impossible for you to continue….. when they think you’re not good enough?

(Mosaic butterfly in garden at Bloom)

I will include a link so you can watch Ciara’s movie, if you choose. If you do watch you may hear her message. You may understand her message. Or you may miss her message. You may think she is brave. You may think she’s foolhardy. You may get stuck in wondering if she’s gay or not. Whatever you get from the watching, one thing I have learned from my judgement of others is that my thoughts and words say more about me than they do about the one I judge. That’s what I got from watching movies on a warm Friday night in Swansea.

What are you saying about yourself? Mairead.

Love Letters, a movie by Ciara Hennessy.