little things

Make the sandwichs early.

| Mairead

 

(Close-up detail of a rusty gate)

Back in 2001 I read the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a creativity workbook with exercises to do and questions to answer. Highly recommended. One of the exercises is called Morning Pages. It works like this, you keep an A4 copybook by your bedside and when you awake in the morning you pick up your copy and write three pages. You write every thought that comes into your head and when there’s nothing in your head you write “I can’t think of anything to write”, until, like magic another thought comes along. You do this every day.

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(Close-up of a rock with old Irish carvings)

I’m working on a new project and as part of it I gathered up those copy books and have just started to read them. For the first six weeks of writing you are not supposed to read any of your words. I think it’s because until you have a habit going you’ll give up if you see what rubbish you’re producing! It’s not really rubbish, just mixed up and out of sync and hopping from one topic to the other. I did read mine at six weeks but never felt the need again, so it’s mainly new to me.

1

(Close-up of a spider’s web)

What I am finding amazing is the little things. How tired I was. How I missed my husband when he went away to Japan for a week. How I worried about everything, everything. How pleased I was when I learn something new. How much I wanted to help others and how guilty I felt when I couldn’t. How much I loved to write each morning. How important  making the sandwiches the night before was, to the smooth running of a life with school children. How everything I worried about worked out fine in the end.

The little things that make up a life, Mairead.

Believe it or not…..

| Mairead

(There were lots of statues of bears like this around Berlin)

Unbelievably, four days later and I’m still at the coffee shop. Remember yesterday, I told you about my belief of being a failure? And the day before about how one situation can have many different ways of looking at it?

(TV tower with rotating restaurant, Alexanderplatz, Berlin)

There I was, finished with college at nineteen and no parchment to frame. Nothing to show for my time in the world of Electronic Engineering. Or had I? Well, with the benefit of hindsight and a different belief it turned out I was on a different course altogether…..

(Nice trees at the Palace)

I was on the “Find a Smart Husband Here” course! I got the (marriage) parchment (never did frame it). He was from Cork, I was from Tipperary, we met in Limerick, in the library. He had really interesting things to say, I was a good listener. There was no formal test. But it’s been more than thirty years now so I think I passed.

I like this story better than the failing one. All that I needed was to know that I had a story and then I could decide to pick one I liked better.

What story do you want to believe? Mairead.

Coffee shop writing…..

| Mairead

(Coffee Time)

Since I’ve been sitting on the sofa resting for the past four days, I’m a bit stir-crazy. So today Denis dropped me to the door of a coffee shop in Dublin and I can get back to my “coffee-shop writing”. He was going to Maplins, his craft shop, so I’m nearby on Abbey Street at 3fe. Strange name for a coffee shop? It stands for third floor espresso. There’s a story….

(Big lizard outside Berlin aquarium)

This guy, Steve, used to work in banking or the stock market or something and he gave it all up to become a world-class barista. True story… He set up a training room in his  apartment (on third floor) and within a year he had entered the world barrister finals in the US and had come in a respectable fourth. Now he sells coffee in different ways using very geeky gadgets. He and his team also sell very nice sandwiches and very yummy muffins.

But it was the story that got me to have coffee here. Well of course it did, he gave up everything to do the thing he wanted to do? I’m in. Now that I’m here I’m ready to notice what’s different about this coffee shop? And it is different. It’s not squeaky clean, the colours are very bright, the shelves are like granny’s kitchen, not completely square, not exactly fitting and not plastic.

(Close-up of zebra stripes)

So that means it’s not exactly perfect either. Surprise, surprise. If it didn’t have a story I wouldn’t be here. Stories are really attractive to us and they are also really useful. The stories that lulled us to sleep as children. The stories we watched at the cinema or on the TV. The stories we believe about ourselves.

What do you believe about you? Mairead.

We’re going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

| Mairead

Berlin Zoo today. Up early was the plan. Plan failed. After a breakfast of orange juice, coffee, custard Danish and currywurst (the boys only) we set off. By midday we had arrived. It’s a very old Zoo in the heart of the city, the trees and plants are as interesting as the animals. We saw the elephants first, followed closely by the giraffes and then the monkeys.

My favourite animal was a female gorilla who was born in 1957. Well I think that’s what it said on the sign…. it was in German. If you’re a regular reader you’ll remember my language ability leaves a lot to be desired. But German is different…. it’s easier to guess…. Anyway, she sat watching all the people watching her, in the manner of an old man sitting on the street corner watching the world go by.

(Two young Orang-Utans didn’t let a cage and a glass partition keep them apart. Right after this picture was taken the Mum of the one on the left swung over, picked up her baby and swung upside-down from the ceiling of the cage all the way to the other side of the huge space.)

Then we came to the nocturnal animals. They were underground, in a long winding corridor with glass fronted rooms on each side containing the animals. The lighting was very dim and the walls were painted black. When I walked in first I couldn’t see anything. I could only take very small steps, holding the wall and feeling uncomfortable. These animals normally only come out at night, but the zoo is closed at night, so…. day is turned into night down here in order that we get to see them. After a few minutes my eyes had stepped up to the challenge and it seemed like the lights had been turned up.

(Nice cobbles in Berlin Zoo)

When you really want something you may have to turn your world upside down and get a bit uncomfortable but soon everything will seem brighter!

Auf Wiedersehen, Mairead

A bit of history (apologies to history scholars)

| Mairead

(Lunch)

Ok we’re in Berlin… on the west side… not that it matters any more. But it used to matter. Back in 1961 they built a wall, the Russians did, all around west Berlin. Yes, the wall wasn’t just along a border between the two sections of Berlin, it went all around. So that the west bit was like a little island of democracy within the Russian territory (the Russians also owned east Germany).

(Checkpoint Charlie… it’s the little hut in the middle of the road… what can I say bad camera day…)

This all started after the second world war. Bits of Berlin were given to America, Britain, France and Russia. Then at some point before 1961 Russia fell out with the others and gave them the cold shoulder.

At the same time the bits that were not Russian were German and they began to rebuild after all the bombing and destruction. But the Russians didn’t have a lot of money to be building. So they patched up.

(If you push your nose up close to the screen and squint your eyes you might be able to see an old Russian Go Workers! mural)

Funny thing….. today that means that the east side (the poor side that didn’t rebuild) has beautiful architecture, while the richer side has architecture from the fifties (concrete and glass… and not in a good way.)

So, having money can be a block (of concrete) to creativity.

Embrace your poverty, Mairead.

Ps Up since four, forgot to pre-charge camera battery so only these photos! More tomorrow.

Lazy and Selfish

| Mairead

(Kate and Liam’s unusual sunflowers)

For the first time in my life I went to a cafe with my laptop. It was last Saturday. I had a green tea and an egg sandwich (yes…) first. Then I wrote for thirty minutes, without even noticing the time pass. Now I’m imagining myself going to a cafe to write every day as being normal, and I feel quite excited. In fact I’m starting to talk to myself (I admit it, I talk to myself…). How great would it be to have a portion of every day assigned to sitting writing in a cafe? and I answer myself…. That would be really great!

So what’s stopping me? The thing that’s stopped me before were all those other voices in my head (yes, I also hear voices….) saying “what a waste of time”, or “you have nothing to write”, or “how incredibly lazy and selfish of you”.

(Wood for the fire)

Then I noticed a funny thing happening in the Success Teams…… I’ve been watching these people! They turn up each week, they share with the team what they want and then they go for it. In the beginning it was difficult for them to fit new things into their busy lives. But to get what they want, some stuff needs to be done….. So they started giving priority to the things that are part of their dream wishes. They began doing these things first (even if they might be considered unimportant or selfish) and letting the rest follow. And the funny thing? When they do that, everything (everything!) else is easier! And the important stuff gets done, too.

(Charlotte, Aidan and Rory’s new cat)

As I’m all for easier I’ll be adding cafe mornings to my weekly schedule from now on. If you see me, remind yourself you too can make your wishes a priority, but don’t talk to me!

Do not disturb, Mairead.

Little Chick’s Story

| Mairead

(A perfect seed ball)

Once upon a time there was a little chick who went in search of adventure. She travelled to the sea shore and found a beautiful turtle shell. She put it on and wore it everyday for months. Everyone she met said how lovely she looked and little chick was delighted with the attention.

(I’m heading for…)

But deep inside little chick was tired and weary and fed-up. The shell was heavy and it was hard to see where she was going so she often bumped into things. One day she decided to take it off….. but as soon as she did she felt naked and put it right back on again. Then she sat down to cry, “now what’ll I do?”

(At the Natural History Museum, a pearl from Galway)

As she was crying an old hen who was passing came over to little chick and asked “What’s wrong little chick?” Little chick explained that she didn’t want to be in a shell anymore, but when she took it off she felt naked. “Oh that’s not a problem, let’s go down to the lake and sort this out.”

(Happy orange juice)

So the two birds waddled down to the lake, said a quick “Hi!” to the other animals and found a quiet spot. Then the old hen said “Ok, little chick, look into the water, what do you see?” Little chick looked in and said, “A beautiful turtle shell.”

“Great, now take off the turtle shell and look into the water again.”

(Sailboats off Greystones… rocks)

“No, no I can’t look, I’m naked.” squeaked the little chick. But the old hen insisted and when the little chick looked into the water she couldn’t believe her eyes. In the water she could see a beautiful yellow fluffy chick, powerful in her chickness! She twisted and turned to see herself from every angle and smiling she asked old hen, “How can this be, I’m beautiful?”

(I have no idea what these are?)

Old hen said “You’ve been wearing that old turtle shell for so long it felt like home but it wasn’t. It was covering up a beautiful you. Just because you feel naked doesn’t mean you are naked! Now, off you go and live the life of a beautiful, proud, powerful, smiling little chick!”

And little chick did just that.

Happy Bank Holiday Monday (Ireland), Mairead.

Perfect as you are…..

| Mairead

(The leaves and wine red shoots)

Ok I seem to be drawn to the perfect as you are theme again today, so bear with me…..

We have a plant in a tub in the back garden. Every year in June it sends up shoots and green leaves unfold from these shoots. The shoots are deep wine red and after a few weeks yellow flowers begin to open out from the tips. A few more weeks pass and the flowers die, the the leaves go brown, and eventually the shoots go brown and dry and break off easily. Then there’s nothing left to see in the tub. At this point I usually move it out of the way and forget about it.

(The tip of the shoot about to flower)

This year I haven’t been out in the garden much so it surprised me when I noticed the cycle had begun and the shoots were up and already producing leaves. So I moved the tub back to a place where I could see it unfold beautifully. And it is…. unfolding… beautifully.

(The yellow flowers)

So I was thinking….. is the plant perfect when it’s flowering? Or is it perfect when the shoots are shooting? Or is it perfect just before the flowers unfold? Or is it perfect when it’s dormant and out of the way? And the only answer that comes to me is…. it’s always perfect.

(The shoot with friend)

So….. could it also be true that no matter what stage in the cycle of our lives we are in, (on top of the world, down in the dumps, flowing along, crying our eyes out, laughing our heads off, making loads of money, spending too much, eating too much, having too little, doing too much, doing too little…….) that we are always perfect too?

How would you be if you knew you were perfect? Would you be unfolding as beautifully as the plant in our back garden? Probably!

You are perfect. Now, allow yourself to unfold… beautifully, Mairead.

PS anyone know what the plant is called?

Poor Fred

| Mairead

(Pink geraniums in an old seed box)

We’re all feeling the love for our cat, Fred, at the moment. He’s not well. We brought him to the vet. He has viral gingivitis, which means his mouth hurts…. a lot. When we got home we looked it up on google. He has lots of the symptoms – not eating, irritable, reclusive, drooling, not much fun really…. The vet gave him antibiotics and he’s sleeping peacefully in the armchair as I write.

(Purple flowers)

Our pets have a knack of bringing out the best in us. They are unconditional with their attention and so allow us to trust them. We trust that it’s unlikely they will look for someone prettier, happier, richer than us. They like us just the way we are, and they like our furniture too! So we open up and we love them back.

(Sun flower)

So if they like us just the way we are and they’re bringing out the best in us……. maybe that’s enough? Maybe it’s enough to know we are loveable, just the way we are.

We’ve been pet approved, Mairead.