Fearlessness

June 8, 2011April 12, 2012 | Mairead

(Nice chairs in Powerscourt)

It’s four hours past the time I normally write my post. Fortunately, still twelve hours before I send it to you. But today, I have nothing to tell you! As this has never happened before, I am confused. I am also a little worried. “What if nothing comes to mind?” Ooh now I notice a little panic…. “what if I can’t do this any more?”

(Rain makes very pretty pictures)

Oh ok, I remember fearlessness, right…. give me a moment. Ok I’m fine again now and I remember something I want to tell you…..

There are many times when we get the opportunity to practice Fearlessness – we should take them!

(Ciara and I had lunch at Avoca in Powerscourt)

Yesterday I met my friend Naomi for coffee. We haven’t known each other that long and as she lives “up North”, this is the first time we’ve met for coffee. We talk to each other like we’ve been friends for life. Yesterday we realised our beliefs are very similar, so that may explain it. She was the one who asked me to speak at the Enniskillen motorbike meeting.

(I don’t like cheese unless it’s hidden, so after the photo I took it out)

So in a way it’s her fault I was standing at the front of the hall on Saturday 28th May, wondering if I should have written something down. All the way across France and Spain I imagined my presentation going well. I even had a few ideas about how to make it more interactive (forgotten on the day…) But, as I stood up there with my pictures waiting on the lap top, an old torn Keycamp map stuck to the wall and a stick we found in the field for a pointer, I thought of how badly this could turn out.

(I love cookery books, if only they could cook the food for me too)

I did mean to make those 4×6 index cards, you know the ones with the little reminders on the front and back? But there wasn’t time……. or I didn’t make any……. So I stood up there and began to hear my own heart beating. It was two minutes to two. In two minutes these people sitting in front of me would expect me to speak. I was also expecting me to speak. But instead I was kinda occupied with fear.

(“One person can make a difference, and everyone should try.” John F Kennedy)

Now, fortunately, at some point on the back of the bike and feeling good I had chosen the title for the talk – Freedom through Fearlessness. It was up on the projector and as the time ticked down to zero and I looked up to read it….. oh, this is what that means?

(Like this shop very much…)

Fear doesn’t have to stop you going for the thing you want.

Bring it on! Mairead.

Help me to make time….

June 7, 2011April 12, 2012 | Mairead

(Beautiful things in my mother’s house)

I have a request, so listen up!

If I’m going to continue showing you how possible it is to “make” time to do the things you want to do, then I’m going to need a little help. In a particular area – dinner! I’ll be specific (it’s always useful to be specific when you’re considering (or asking for) what you want)…….. I want recipes.

(My brother cooks Irish lunch)

In order to make time to do the things you want to do, something’s gotta give! Something that you give time to now will need to give up it’s time. Or, if it’s an essential task, at least give up some of its time. And that’s where you’ll need to be creative. So I’m going to start by being creative with dinner! I’m creating ways to allow dinner to give up some of its time. To be clear, I’m quite happy to keep the time I spend eating the dinner, it’s the preparation time I want back.

(Time to eat)

So…

… I need recipes. Very particular recipes: To feed four people. With a preparation time of ten minutes, maybe I could stretch to fifteen minutes but… no longer than that. Where a pot, dish, saucepan or receptacle containing some food goes into an oven and when the timer goes off, we eat. I don’t care how long the timer takes, because while it counts down and the dinner cooks I’ll be writing 🙂 I’m happy to make a salad to go with the dinner and I think I could probably do that in five minutes.

(The beautiful rain on Sunday)

Also, I like fish but one of the four people to be fed doesn’t…. He could go without, but I like him…. So, it would be a bonus if you know a great fish recipe (I’m thinking of the Cod in red pepper sauce that we got at Rosa’s Casa Rural near San Sebastian) where the fish looks like meat…. (any meat would do, but I’m thinking chicken already looks a bit like fish???) but that would just be a bonus, not essential.

(Unhealthy breakfast today)

Please, please send me your favourite, ten minute prep, in a pot, into the oven, onto the table recipe. One that you’ve tried and it works. (When I’ve sorted dinner I’m going onto housework next, so start thinking about that.)

Bon appétit, Mairead.

Going Away Party

June 6, 2011April 12, 2012 | Mairead

(“Just dump everything on the bed, we’ll sort it out after the party”)

Today I’m tired. We went to Cashel, my home town, at the weekend. My sister was throwing a party. A going-away party. She’s going away. To Canada. To follow her heart. With her husband and her daughter. My brother-in-law and my niece. My mother’s daughter, son-in-law and grandchild. My daughter’s aunt, uncle and cousin. The list could go on and on, because there were eighty adults and numerous children at that party who are related to or are very good friends with, my sister, her husband and their daughter.

(There are pretty doors in Ireland too)

Always, when we follow our heart, there are consequences. But we still have to follow our heart. Because the consequences of not following your heart are far worse. Living your life to maintain the status quo, to ensure that others are not disturbed, is not living “your” life.

(Just a quick snack before the party)

“Your” life is full to bursting with the possibilities, the dreams and the hopes of your heart. And the world needs those possibilities and dreams and hopes. And you’re the only one that can provide them….. like the poster says “We Need You!” And that applies to YOU whether you’re twenty-five or seventy-five, or older or younger or anything in between!

(My mother grows beautiful roses)

So although I’m tired and a little sad, I am also happy that my little sister and brother-in-law and niece are sharing the possibilities and dreams and hopes of their hearts with the world. They inspire me to do the same.

And….. I get to visit Canada!

Share yourself, Mairead.

Minding your own business

June 5, 2011April 12, 2012 | Mairead

(Coffee and a cook book – heaven)

It’s Saturday. Denis and I went on our Saturday date this morning. Well, not exactly morning as it was nearly one o clock by the time we left . Because we had a visit from our new “drain man”, but that’s another story. Although he will be part of this story.

Anyway, we went to Dun Laoghaire, for those who don’t know it, it’s a big town, with a long pier that the people of south Dublin and Wicklow like to walk. It also has a lot of shops, small and big. It’s on the Dart (Dublin Area Rapid Transit) train line and it also has a ferry port.

While we were there we had coffee, and wandered into and out of a few shops. We were in a small outdoor and sports shop, looking at crocs shoes when we heard a conversation between the shop assistant and a customer. The customer (male) was saying, ” I’m looking for a pair of comfortable shoes for walking about in, would you have something like that?” And the assistant (male) said “well…we have one make, but they’re not very good.” Needless to say the customer didn’t buy them. He didn’t even get to see them!

We were wondering about the possibility that there might be a room full of “not very good” walking shoes in the back of the shop. Something was niggling me.

And then we went into the pen shop. It’s a very small shop on the top floor of the shopping center. It only sells pens… and inks, biros, calculators and there might be other things too. Something you may not know about Denis is he loves pens. Not just any pens. Very particular pens. Before he buys one he has to try them out and compare them. They have to feel “right”. They have to be quiet (I kid you not, one he tried today, was too “noisy”…..) So we enter the shop and the assistant jumps up to greet us. He looks happy to see us. He’s also happy to bring out lots and lots of pens for Denis to try – lots.

By the time Denis makes a choice, the assistant has his phone number. So that he can give him a call when a pen Denis mentioned gets delivered. At this stage I’m starting to think I might need a pen too! What a nice experience.

(All gone)

And that’s when the niggling unfolded.

The man in the pen shop wasn’t an assistant, he was the owner. When you’re the owner of your business your intention is to thrive and (in this economic climate) to survive and you do what’s necessary, in fact you’re HAPPY to do what’s necessary. When you’re the assistant your intention is a bit different. It might be to keep your job, or to just get through your day. But you’re probably not emotionally or financially invested in the success of the business.

My new “drain man” runs his own business. He spent time talking to me on the phone, before any money changed hands. He works on Saturdays. He answers his own phone. He’s invested. I had a good experience. I’ll be recommending him.

And that led me to the thought, there have been times in my life when I just want to get through the day. How would it be different if my intention was to thrive during that day, and every day in my life? To be the owner of my own day, my own life…. And I bet that it would affect the people who meet me, my family, my friends. Maybe they would have a nice experience too.

Mind your own business, Mairead

Success Teams Blog

June 5, 2011April 12, 2012 | Mairead

(Continued from yesterday… Five Lives.) The kind of story I want to be in is one where every day I’m involved in something that lifts my heart.

You see, down in the everyday “stuff” of life it’s easy to get stuck and think you’re not worthy or that your ideas are useless or that you’ll make do with a life you find boring. Because…. it takes a lot of courage to do the things that you love, to share the ideas that you have, to go for the exciting (to you) things. It takes courage to lift your voice up and say “this is what I want.” It takes courage to wonder “what do I want?”

Fortunately, it doesn’t take much courage to lift your heart. It lifts on its own every time you are involved in something you love….. in sport, art, writing, walking, cooking, riding your motorbike (he, he)…. what is it for you?

(Nice cup of tea)

When your heart is lifting….. then you can make up a new story, of a new life.

When I finished the Wishcraft book and wanted more I searched the internet and found that Barbara Sher had devised Success Teams. A team doing the exercises in order to find out what you wanted and then encouraging you to go for it….. But there wasn’t one in Ireland.

I’d have to set it up in Ireland.

Oh, my goodness the FEAR……I’m not worthy, this is a terrible idea, I’ll make do with reading the book again. But it wouldn’t go away. So bit by bit I started telling people and something about my passion for the idea grabbed them too.

They joined me in my story and now we’ve completed the eight weeks course. Each of us has our own project to lift our hearts. Each one of us is at a different stage. Each one of us feels the fear from time to time and then we meet and the team keeps us going. Going towards what we want.

And the amazing thing to me is…. it’s not about what we want at all…. it’s all about the journey towards it.

Thank you, (in alphabetical order, women!) Ashleigh, Frieda, Julie, Marion, and Molly – my team mates, for lifting my heart when I couldn’t! And now I’m going to do it again.

(For the Wicklow team who played today – Burn the Boats but Keep the Passion!)

Want to build a team to lift your heart when you can’t? Send me an email (mairead@hennessynet.com) or ring (086 827 2332) and get on the next team!

To your soaring heart from mine, Mairead.

Five Lives

June 3, 2011April 12, 2012 | Mairead

(Bren’s Birthday Sweet Pea)

So, yesterday (Come on Wicklow) I was giving an example of one of the exercises in Barbara Sher’s Book, Wishcraft. It’s called….Five Lives. In it you imagine you have five lives and what would you do with each one? So, she helps you by saying if you could be YOU five times and explore a different talent or interest or lifestyle, what would they be?

(My patchwork tiled table – hasn’t fared well in the cold and wet winter, it needs some help)

Well…. I was off in dreamland with that one. But if that wasn’t enough she goes on to tell me (in the book, I’ve never met her!) what Gene, a 47-year-old mortgage banker, wrote for his five lives.

Gene’s Five Lives: 1. Head of Department of Housing and Urban Development. 2. A fishing guide. 3. A novelist. 4. A radio announcer for major league baseball (Gene is probably American…..). And already I start to realise, anything goes – Gene didn’t even have five lives on his list and he made it into the book! Gene is picking crazy things…… and that’s ok too…..

(Tea and courgette plants at Laura’s house)

And that’s what comes out again and again – it’s your story. YOUR LIFE is your story to make up as you go along. You can choose how the story goes. And the exercises help to find out what kind of story you want to be in….

(Summer’s here!)

You might want to try the exercise for yourself? Or not? Either way I’ll continue the story tomorrow.

What’s the story? (A form of greeting in Cork…. or is it Tipperary?) Mairead.

Stormy Seas

June 1, 2011April 12, 2012 | Mairead

(Here comes trouble)

There we were sitting happily in our cabin about 9pm on Wednesday, last week. Me typing my blog, Denis doing something work-ish. And the captain comes on the speaker with the warning that things would be a little rough during the night and he was sorry…. We made a little joke and went back to our important little tasks.

(That huge truck reversed all the way off the ship!)

Well… it’s hard to believe any warnings of bad weather when the sky is blue, the sea is flat and you’re on your way home after holidays. So we didn’t… we didn’t believe him. Not that believing him would have helped. We had met two bikers on the way onto the ship and had discussed the various sea-sickness options. They favoured the drugs while I was going for the bands around the wrist, Denis doesn’t get sea-sick so he wasn’t involved in the conversation. Anyway, that was all before the captain started predicting the future. As he spoke I realised my sea-sickness wrist bands were still down on the bike and all the doors were locked! We didn’t know which cabin the bikers with the drugs were…. but as I didn’t believe the captain’s warnings I wasn’t too bothered.

(Greystones on the map and off the map)

It wasn’t until two o’clock in the morning that I became bothered.

My beliefs started to shift…. as the ship was shifting, with the wind. But I was lying down, it was dark and very easy to imagine I was a child again and my brother was gently pushing me on a swing. By six am he was pushing too hard and I wanted to get off.

(More Irish clouds)

Imagine with me if you will, toss, rock, toss, rock, bang. Where the bang is the best bit because at least it’s solid? Then it would stop and…. the moment before you think maybe it’s over… it starts again. I lay there, eyes closed completely present to every movement, I had no other option, because as soon as I thought of anything else I felt frightened and sick. I couldn’t even complain to Denis because talking made me feel sick (it’s an ill wind……). Never realised how much “work” is involved in thinking, talking and complaining.

(Calm Seas)

I wanted the storm to calm down.

I started to say the word “calm” over and over and something changed. The storm didn’t stop but my stomach started to relax. And for a brief moment I realised the storm that was really bothering me wasn’t the one outside (although that was disturbing). The big storm was the one inside me. The one that made my stomach clench and tightened lots of other muscles too. Brief moment over, I went back to experiencing the movement….. and started calming the storm inside. Eventually the one inside stopped and later so did the one outside.

(Now I know why they have the cup holders…)

None of us needs to be on a ship to experience the storm inside. Calm….. Calm…… Calm……

Calm, Mairead.

Accommodation Clerk Tips

May 31, 2011 | Mairead

(Warning… there’s a photo of a cat in this one – sorry Bairbre…)

(The cat is telling me there’s no “nice” cat food. Cats can talk too….)

Today Dave asked me to recommend some places to stay on the west coast of France but I had only one place to recommend as we had stayed in only one place, La Rochelle. Instead, I told him how I choose somewhere to stay. He suggested you might like to know too…..

(Breakfast tomorrow – rice porridge and pecan nuts – yummy)

Over the forty-two days we were on holidays we stayed in twenty-two different places, not including the boat. After the first few I got a system going and it seemed to work. Of the places I choose, most were good, some were great and one or two were just fine.

This is how I did it……

(Made it outside the front door today – to cut the grass)

I always checked airbnb.com first because we had such great experiences with the people it brought us in contact with last year. This year I couldn’t seem to find places that “felt” like a fit. Actually that’s an important part of finding the place to stay – feeling it! I’ll come back to that in a minute. So on the airbnb website I put in the general area we are heading towards, I restricted the places initially to whole houses/apartments only with wifi and then sorted the list by price. (If that sounds complicated go visit the site and play! Any questions, let me know.) If it doesn’t show up a house/apartment within our price range, then I try the private room locations.

But this year we also used Booking.com and it was very useful. This site has lists of hotels around the world. You get to compare the hotels by price, see if they have space and then book there and then all online, no language difficulties because it’s all in English!

(There’s a funny flower growing out of our aloe vera plant?)

You input the town or area where you want to stay along with the dates and it’s a free service. I always put in the first day that we expect to be there and choose to stay only one night. We would stay longer if we really liked it – the adventure begins when you want to stay longer and there are no rooms and you have nowhere to stay for the next night!

When I click on the SEARCH button a list comes up of hotels in my chosen area. Then I re-sort the list so that the cheapest hotels are at the top. Then I scroll down to the first one in my price range that has an 8 or higher score from reviews. Ok, in case you haven’t seen or heard of the site, we need to talk about the reviews.

(Had a very nice coffee and a scone, who needs croissants?)

Each time someone stays in a hotel they have booked on booking.com they are asked to review the hotel. Basically “what did you love about it?” and “what did you not like?” and some score options. Based on the reviews returned the hotel gets an average score. This score along with reading some of the reviews gives me a “feel” for the hotel.

The hotel needs to have more than 50 reviews to be useful but this isn’t a hard and fast rule, reading the few reviews can sometimes give you a good picture of the hotel and therefore a good “feeling”.

(Up close to a scone)

Generally if the reviews say “owners lovely” or “helpful” or other good customer service stuff I’m in – you’ll find your own “in” words. Also, keep an eye on the Logis because of their good service and food I might choose them with a score of 7.7 or higher. They generally have basic rooms but very fancy food (by fancy I mean very, very nice!)

(Sneak preview of the new harbour in Greystones, blue sea, blue sky and white clouds… oh and six men rowing)

Once and only once I choose a hotel with no reviews, as it was new and it turned out to be the most beautiful, you remember the priest’s house? Sorry, I forgot, I also choose the Formula 1 without looking at reviews…. but that led to the system….

If you are going on holidays have a lovely time and remember sometimes the grotty places make the best stories!

(Aren’t the clouds in Ireland lovely?)

But, back to “feeling” the accommodation. I know.. it sounds weird but wait …..I’ll explain. Anytime we are faced with a choice, a decision, there are three possible “feelings” we get (there’s probably more but I’m only interested in these three). A “yes”, a “no” and an “I don’t know”. It happens, probably, straight away.

And then we second guess it. We put up all the logical reasons why we couldn’t possibly… or definitely should… or whatever. But we already have the answer in our system, in our body.

You know when you look at a menu and something jumps out at you? That was a yes. Then you think about the calories, the cook, the other food? That’s the second guessing. (If on the other hand, you really don’t know what you want? All you need to do is wait and get a bit more information, the yes or no will emerge.) So “feeling” the accommodation means when I got a “yes” about a particular hotel or home, I picked that one.

Are there any decisions you are finding it difficult to make? Try the “feeling” method!

I’ll pick something shorter tomorrow…… Mairead.