Sunshine, water and an excellent lawnmower.

| Mairead

(Some blue sky)

Yesterday provided a few little challenges for me… or maybe I provided them myself. It was sunny again so I figured this was a perfect opportunity to cut the grass. Two days of rain followed by a day of sunshine caused a grass growth spurt and I could only imagine how much taller it would grow if left unattended. (Maybe that was my first mistake… imagining something bad.) So, I put down my reading and went in search of the lawn mower. It was a petrol one and I’d used one before so I pressed the button in the front three times, moved the safety handle to the main handle and pulled the string. It started first time, excellent. That was the last excellent of the experience.

(This tree is the cat’s favourite scratching post)

Although I did notice that the garden was big, I only noticed it in an appreciative way… what great space and what wonderful possibilities. I didn’t notice it in the square yardage kind of way. I had completed about a tenth of the area when I decide to take a break. Thinking I had been cutting for at least an hour I checked the clock… twenty minutes had passed. Even though that probably indicated the whole job could be finished in three and a half hours and not ten, I still felt disappointed… it would feel like ten hours! This might have been a good time to stop cutting the grass. Instead, I had a big glass of water along with a couple of pages of reading and then returned to the job.

(Seedlings in the greenhouse)

A few more twenty-minute slots (remarkably I always seemed to be ready for a break in twenty-minute slots) and I came across a conundrum. In order to water the plants in the greenhouse there was a garden hose running between it and the outside tap. It ran across the lawn. When I realised it was in my path I wondered what the best possible course of action might be. I wondered would I un-plug the hose and lay it beside the lawn until I had finished cutting. I wondered would I just ignore it – it lay in a shallow groove which could mean it had been in place for previous cuttings. I wondered would I lift the lawn mower over it, like lifting a buggy up over some steps. I wondered all this while continuing to cut the grass. (Notice I didn’t stop to make a decision…. I continued to cut which was also a decision) And before long I was cutting more than the grass. I cut the garden hose. It was spectacular and very wet (the water pressure here is excellent.)

(Great sprinkler… not so great garden hose)

I changed my clothes and then continued to cut the grass but my heart wasn’t in it. I was imagining how the plants in the greenhouse would die because I couldn’t water them. I’d seen two watering cans in the shed but what if they were the special watering cans used only for weed killer, there might be some weedkiller left in them, I couldn’t use them either. I was very glad of the distraction of a phone call from my friend. In a very unsympathetic tone she asked Why would you cut the grass? I’m going back to my Stop Thinking Start Living book, it’s possible I’ve been thinking too much….

Oh for the simple life, living in the country with some cats and some hens…. oh yea, Mairead.

Talking out loud to no one listening.

| Mairead

(Harvesting berries)

What a different kind of day – today the sun shone! It does seem to change everything or at least it changes my attitude, my frame of mind, like a frame changes a picture. So I was able to hunt and gathered today… well not really hunt. But I definitely gathered – raspberries and eggs. Successful on both fronts. The rain seems to have given the raspberries a bit of a boost because I hadn’t seen any yesterday and today there were loads… well, more than 100! They’re all in the freezer waiting for the jam maker. And I now have enough eggs for pancakes, I intend to make them tomorrow, possibly for breakfast, yum.

(Two!)

As I type one of the cats is sitting on my knee with his chin on my arm, not the most comfortable position for typing but very cute! He did the same thing yesterday so maybe this is something he does all the time with his humans. Sometimes when he puts up his paw to wash it I think he’s going to start editing what I’m typing. SO cute.

(Synchronised hen walking)

When I arrived here I noticed the peace and quiet and was very happy, but now I’ve started doing weird things. I’ve started turning on the radio (not too weird); when anyone rings on the phone (even a wrong number) I seem to be trying to keep them on the line a bit longer (kinda weird?);  and I’m talking to the cats and the hens (too weird?) The cats are ignoring me but the hens are beginning to follow me. Well to be honest at first they were running away from me, I’d sneak up on them pretending I was taking a picture but really I was just looking for a chat but they’d scatter. In case you didn’t know it, hens can’t run very fast and it’s kinda comical when they try because while their feet are lifting their heads are nodding. The two hens have a way of synchronising their movements so it looks like they’re dancing – probably to distract me because when I start laughing I give up trying to get near them!

(Can’t remember what these are?)

Maybe I’ll try talking to the fish tomorrow, they already look quite excited every time I approach their bowl…. oh maybe its time to feed them!

Hello! Anyone there? Mairead.

 

Who let the hens out?

| Mairead

(The girls)

I woke late this morning because I’d had a very disgruntled feline visitor during the night who needed to get outside urgently (at least that’s what I think he was saying) at 3.45am. It may take me a few more days to understand the routine. I’m out of sync with the hens too, I forgot that they won’t lay eggs unless I leave them in their pen until noon but I let them out at seven yesterday morning. When I arrived here on Monday there was a lovely warm brown egg waiting for me. I know I could have bought eggs in Tesco when I was gathering supplies but the thought that I could be eating my own (well.. not exactly my own..) produce was enough to stop me. Now I want to make pancakes so I’m going to need another egg. I have a feeling that the hens like getting out early so I’ll have to be strong and think of pancakes.

(Are these edible?)

When I did wake this morning the sun was shining – yea! I was beginning to think there would be non-stop rain for my entire visit. Last night I was cold enough to light the stove and grey enough to watch the TV. I’m glad to report that I have not been sucked back to TV-land (was there always so many ads?) in fact I think I might be frightened away from it altogether. Between the (bad) nine o clock news and half a scary story about a con man in America I was feeling very nervous climbing the stairs to bed.

(Is there a con man around that corner?)

Fortunately, I’ve been reading Stop Thinking and Start Living by Richard Carlson so I went to bed and slept. Actually that book is very interesting, it talks about how we are constantly thinking and we don’t even realise it. It’s like we’re listening to a radio station in our head. Unfortunately it’s a station full of bad news and cutting remarks… about me (or you – if it’s in your head!) It wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t continue the thought and add to it, with more bad news or meanness towards ourselves. The solution? Notice the thought and let it go. For example, last night I might have had the thought, it’s very scary being here alone when there are so many con men around. So as soon as I realise I’m thinking this I pause and choose to think of something else, something useful to be thinking while I’m alone. Like, I’ll read my nice book about a woman reading her dead friend’s journal! (It’s called The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D by Nichole Bernier and I’m really enjoying it.) Thinking is very useful but not when it scares and saddens us.

Think something nice about yourself, Mairead.

Walking in baby steps.

| Mairead

(Which path?)

I’m navigating my surroundings today by walking. There are lots of pathways through the forest and I’ve been walking along them. Sometimes I come to a side junction and although it’s tempting to take it I’ve been sticking to the main paths. It seems I need to get the basic pattern of the forest into my system before I branch out. The other thing I’ve been doing is looking down. The path surface is quite rutted and uneven so I’ve been taking care not to miss my footing. I’ve been taking baby steps.

(Grassy path)

That got me thinking….. about creating new behaviours – like taking up healthy eating or even healthy thinking or getting more exercise. When I start something new, I always expect to get it right first time or else I’m really annoyed with myself. I always expect to be as proficient at doing the new thing as I am about thinking about doing it. It might be more useful to take baby steps.

(Uneven path)

So, for example, a possible new behaviour like get more exercise. Before I start I would have to get specific. So, what is the desired new behaviour? I want to walk. How much do you want to walk? Well, I’ve heard that twenty-minute walks are a good start so I want to walk twenty minutes, twice a day. Okay then I begin. The first day always goes well, I’m highly motivated. By day three I’m increasing the time to forty minutes and possibly the frequency to twice as often…. By day twelve I have a list of excuses why I’m not good at exercise and I haven’t been out in days. This is the time for the baby steps.

 

(Path ahead?)

Baby steps are kind and gentle. When the baby toddler stumbles while teetering from chair to chair and falls flat on his face, do you say, You big slob! You’ve been doing this toddler thing for days and you’re still falling! No, but you say it to yourself. You big slob, you haven’t been out for a walk for days, you’ll never get healthy! Baby steps are different. Baby steps say, Ah sweetie, did you find it hard to keep up the walking? Up you get now, go out the door and start again. Baby steps encourage you to do what you can when you can, no more no less and without the mean attitude!

Be nice to yourself, Mairead.

Report from the Wilderness.

| Mairead

(River on one side)

I’m out in the wilderness for a while….. and I don’t mean metaphorically. I’m living in the middle of the forest with a lake on one side of the road and a river on the other. There are hens in the garden, cats in the house and goldfish in the bowl. Although I haven’t seen them yet there are also deer over the fence.

(Beautiful flora, foxglove I think)

I arrived about an hour ago and unpacked my life. It’s been interesting to see what my life consists of….. computer, phone, food, clothes, stuff to wash and soften (!) my skin and hair, books (even though there are hundreds of books here) and crafting materials. Apart from feeding myself and the animals I am free to follow my heart’s desire.

(Lake on the other)

When I choose to come here I did wonder to what purpose I would use this wonderful opportunity. Would I write a book? (Probably a bit optimistic it will only be two weeks!) Would I learn to paint? Would I go for long walks? Would I learn some new vegetarian recipes? Would I read a full book in one sitting? Would I go back to watching TV? Would I sleep? A lot? What would I love to do while I’m here?

(A path running through the middle)

Turns out I probably don’t have to answer those questions in advance (although I do have to bring the ingredients to do any of them.) I can just allow my choice to unfold… a little at a time. At this time my heart’s desire is to write.

What’s your heart’s desire, at this moment? Mairead.

PS Both my mother and mother-in-law’s heart’s desire is more words in the blog (well I think that’s what they meant, “..the pictures are alright but…”) Ask and you may well receive….