awareness

Keep your eye on the ball!

| Mairead

21 8c

(My Dad’s garage and petrol pumps in the 1960’s)

My Dad had a saying “Keep your eye on the ball.” It probably comes from his days teaching young lads to play hurling, encouraging them to  look at the ball while they raise the hurley to hit it. He used it with us kids to tell us to stay focused on what we were supposed to be doing. Like the customer service competition….

21 8b

(Hoare Abbey near the Rock of Cashel)

My Dad had a garage and petrol pumps and sometime in the 1960’s or early 1970’s there was a competition between all the Esso garages to find the one with the best customer service. This was a time when there were pump attendants and the customer never needed to even step out on the forecourt to have the tank filled. My brother and I were working on the pumps in the summer time so we were included in the training for the competition. We were trained to give the customer a nice experience. I’m sure Esso had a vision of creating great service in all their garages… my Dad’s vision was to win the competition.

 

(Our playground as kids)

This week in Ireland petrol prices will top €1.70 per litre, you’ll have to fill your own tank and no one will offer to clean your windscreen. Back then you could fill your tank with £10, pump attendants were the norm and they were friendly by nature. But this competition focussed that natural friendliness. By the end of the training my brother and I had a clear goal – happy customers. It started as soon as we saw a car approach. We guided them to the front-most pump (so that the second pump would be clear for another great customer experience). We smiled and greeted warmly. We talked about the weather, the traffic (only heavy on a GAA match day) we inquired whether they needed help with the route to their destination. But most important we asked if they wanted their oil and water checked or maybe their windscreen washed. Usually they said no thank you but it was clear they were happy to be asked. Happy customer.

For that summer we kids kept our eye on the ball and we won every time we created a happy customer. Our Dad kept his eye on the prize… and he won the competition! In fact I think he won it at least twice!

Keep your attention on what you want, Mairead.

Ps and if you don’t know what you want, keep you attention on discovering what you want…

Hit the nail… not the thumb!

| Mairead

20 8c

(Love my little empty frame)

I was hanging some picture frames on the kitchen wall yesterday. I think it took me two hours but the time flew and my mind wandered to thoughts of “noticing what’s right“, again. Putting my attention on what’s wrong is like hitting my thumb with a hammer…. when what I want to do is hit the nail.

 

20 8b

(Some of my finished wall… Look Nolene it’s your painting!)

We’ve all had the experience of hammering a nail into a wall. When I was being shown first by my Mum or my Dad, I can imagine I was hyper excited to get the hammer into my hands. It looked so easy and such fun, whacking a bit of metal and making loads of noise. I held the nail in one hand and the hammer in the other and took a big swing… and hit my thumb!

 

 20 8a

(Hit the nail, hit the nail!)

 

From that moment on it was no longer fun… I watched my thumb like a hawk and each time I aimed for the nail I was looking at my thumb. Of course I hit it again. After that first lesson it took me a while to go back to hammering a nail and it never seemed as much fun….

20 8d

(Hen picture… Look Ciara it’s the charity shop frame!)

Put your attention on the nail – the thing you want to hit! That might be good grades, or good health. It might be a life purpose or employment. It might be a holiday or friendship or even peace. If you continuously worry (i.e. think about) the opposite – bad grades, ill-health, lack of purpose, unemployment, no holiday, no friends, war – then that’s what you’re aiming for.

 

You don’t want that do you? Mairead.

 

The Walking Machine…. another gadget or a guru?

| Mairead

16 8a

(Collage)

We have a walking machine, we’ve had it about six months now. Having one doesn’t contribute to good health but using one might… I’ve started using it. It has an added benefit of allowing my mind to drift away and have some interesting non-worrying thoughts. Yesterday I was walking along when something popped into my head about noticing the stuff I do that’s ok.

29 6e

(Notice the pretty patterns… instead of the peeling paint)

Usually when the drift away thoughts come into my head they’re in the form of a big picture concept. Like a collage and it takes a little time to look at all the details in the big picture. After that it’s possible to unravel the concept in order to talk about it. I’m unravelling it this morning. In normal life we have the tendency to notice what’s wrong. With the weather, the newspaper article, the dinner, the artwork. Sometimes in our work it’s necessary to notice what’s not right, in order to fix it, make it right. So when we consider ourselves we use the same logic – notice what’s wrong in order to fix it.

29 6f

(Notice something beautiful about this picture)

Other people help us in this work – they notice what’s wrong and they tell us! But I’m not so sure this works well… Mark Twain said If you always do what you always did, You’ll always get what you always got!  So it might be useful to try something different. My big picture was… What if I began to notice what was right? What if I ignore (for a certain period of time) what’s wrong and notice what’s right?

What’s right with you? Mairead.

The sun always shines… even if we can’t see it.

| Mairead

26 7a

(Shadows)

Would you believe, it’s very sunny today? It is! It’s not very hot and there are a few black clouds on the horizon but overhead the skies are blue and the summer shadows are very pretty. I was thinking that it’s only when the sun shines that we see those shadows and then we can choose to sit in a cool shadow or sit in warm sunshine. When the sun is behind the clouds we only have the shadows and it seems like the sunshine is gone for good.

26 7b

(Shadows)

It reminds me of the Hero’s Journey. How we’re all on a journey (or journeys) throughout our lives. Just like the hero we have to deal with difficulties on the ground, we have to fight battles or maybe even save maidens, but those bits are not the only story. The big story can only be seen from way up high, in the sky-view. Sometimes we get stuck in the ground view and we can’t see the bigger picture, we can’t see our beauty. We can’t see our sun shining behind the clouds.

26 7c

(Shadows)

When I was a young parent, I was very stuck in the ground view. In the nappies, in the crying, in the doctor’s visits, in the tedium. I thought my life would always be this way, the sunshine gone for good. I rarely saw the beauty of my hero. Whether you are a parent or an aunt, an uncle, a grandmother, a grandfather, a daughter, a son, a niece, a nephew or completely alone in the world, you are a hero and you have a hero role and it’s always there. Whether the sun shines or not, whether you are stuck in the mundane or not, you are always a hero.

Wear your hero hat, Mairead.

Don’t be scribbling over your signature with a bob.

| Mairead

(Wakey, wakey it’s 5am)

We’re on a ship again. This morning (Thursday) I’m sitting in the lounge of the ferry going from Rosslare Harbour (Ireland) to Fishguard (Wales). We’re off to see the daughter again. We’re also going back to beautiful Bath and to revisit Bletchley Park – the location of the code breakers from World War II and the birthplace of computing. This time we’re taking the car so it’s a bit different.

(Sunshine at 10am)

In preparation for the trip I went to the hairdressers yesterday afternoon. My hair is quite well-behaved when a professional pulls it into submission and can remain in place for a few days so I had booked a wash and blow-dry. When I arrived there was a woman sitting at the desk, I told her my name and the time of my appointment and she sent me over to the sofa. Although I had been in this salon previously I didn’t have a regular stylist and was willing to accept whoever was available. Within moments the same woman from the desk guided me to the sinks and proceeded to wash my hair.

(Oooo, there’s a craft shop here!)

I had assumed she was the receptionist… could she be my stylist? No clue. As I don’t enjoy the small talk I usually like to close my eyes and drift off while I’m getting my hair coiffed so I proceeded to settle into a little snooze. But, it was not to be. My hair was hardly wet when she said, “your hair is quite fine but very thick”. At a bit of a disadvantage in my laid back position and not knowing exactly what that meant or if it was good or bad, I said, “yes…” This was the first clue that she might be my stylist or someone very interested in my hair….. Well, although I do like the snoozing bit I prefer the bit where they talk to me about my hair (yes, I am that vain.) Not necessarily the… your hair is great  talking but the… did you know there’s a kink in your hair? and have you ever tried it this way? talking. Well, I had a treat in store.

(Checking out the survival options)

Her name was Esther and she was very interested in my hair! “Have you always had it in a bob?“,”Oh yes, for at least ten years, maybe more (lots more) it suits my face.” and she says “No it doesn’t!” Picture the scene me dripping wet hair sitting in front of a mirror looking up at Esther, who’s standing over me with a scissors in her hand. I let out one of those loud guffaws and laughed for a good thirty seconds. Esther joined in for a bit and then told me exactly what the bob was doing for me….. well it wasn’t doing anything for me in her opinion, except covering my face. She wondered if I was still wearing clothes from ten years ago, I said no (although I do have a very comfortable red cardigan…) She wondered if the bob was easy to manage, I said no, in fact it that’s why I came today. She said she couldn’t do it. “I’ve been watching your hair since you came in and I could hardly hold myself back.”  That sounds bad. “Is it that bad?“, “Yes.” Oh.

(Lunch)

I laughed. I had been at a workshop that morning pondering the concept of shame and had learned that connection with others at the precise moment you want to sink into shame,  kills the shame. So I looked at Esther and decided she was more friend than foe and Esther, knowing I wasn’t going anywhere proceeded to tell me what she wanted to do. She spoke about the natural flow of my hair, how it was neither straight nor curly but had a kink. “Yes Esther, I know that kink – it’s the bane of my life, that’s the thing that makes it impossible to get the bob right.” But Esther said no, the kink was my hair’s signature and I had been scribbling over it with a bob for long enough. I want to let your hair flow. (Well she didn’t say those exact words but that’s what she meant.) “So, are you up for it?”

Let your life flow, Mairead.

Grow your own… dreams.

| Mairead

18 7f

(Ripening tomato)

There were a lot of things growing while I was in the Wilderness, tomatoes, courgettes, lettuce, weeds, to name a few. Each night as I watered the plants in the greenhouse I was able to notice their progress. At first I just noticed the one orange ripening tomato and little yellow flowers. Then I noticed a hidden green tomato. It was green so it blended in with the leaves. But then I started to notice the flowers as they turned from bright yellow into dull green… into tomatoes.

18 7a

(The yellow flowers turning as they become tomatoes)

Of course, I’ve done biology in school and I know that the bees and other insects pollinate the flowers and that’s how the fruit is created but seeing it happen in front of my eyes made me pause…. The same thing was happening outside with the courgettes. As the beautiful orange-yellow flower was dying it was being pushed forward by the growth of a little courgette plant. The courgette plants didn’t even have the benefit of the warmth of the greenhouse or the regularity of my watering (although the rain was pretty regular.) They just got on with the job with only nature to assist.

18 7b

(One of the flowers has turned into a tomato)

Each day as I wandered around outside, chatting with the hens or just experiencing the calm I noticed these growing things and I wondered what I was noticing. Was it the fading colours of young flowers turning into the nourishing strength of fruit and vegetable? Was it the power of nature that allowed the plants to do their thing? Was it the daily slow growth step by hidden step that resulted in bounty? Was it the cycle of planting a seed, feeding it, watering it, giving it light and heat, allowing it to produce?

18 7e

(The courgette… notice the little plant at the base of the flower)

Was it the intention of the grower, one day long ago who decided he really wanted to grow tomatoes and he took the first step and bought the seeds? When the grower returned to only one ripe tomato he told me that he had met a woman on his travels who had decided she wanted tomatoes. She took a lot less care than the grower and already within a very short time she was collecting and sharing lots of ripe tomatoes. She lived in a place with lots of sun. Growth is taking a little longer in Ireland this year… lucky us, we get time to enjoy every step of the cycle!

“….the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now…” African Proverb.

Plant your seed, Mairead.

Ode to the girls….

| Mairead

17 7a

(Contentment –  even with green hair)

I’m back home now and I’m hen-less and egg-less. Will go to the supermarket later for the eggs but we won’t be getting hens. Some people and animals come into your life for just a short time and then they leave. But not before passing on a message or a lesson. What I can remember best from the hens is their one step after the other approach to life…… Sure they were cautious, but once the danger (usually me) passed by or stopped and backed away, then they continued one step after the other.

17 7b

(Take the next step)

Another thing about the hens, they did their own foraging. Each day I presented them with a shovelful of feed and some “treats” but that wasn’t all they ate. They spent a lot of their time scratched around for tasty worms and insects. They could have so easily sat back and eaten the food provided but they took nourishment into their own hands, they maintained their independence and probably their good health.

17 7c

(Celebrate the mistake)

Although I let them out in the mornings (or in the afternoon if I wanted an egg) I didn’t put them back in their pen, they went back in themselves, in their own time. I locked the gate when I found them tucked up together in their house. And the eggs… whenever possible they left their eggs in a place of their choosing, where I never found them.

17 7e

(Find the beauty)

They remind me of Dr. Viktor Frankl who wrote Man’s Search for Meaning having survived life in a concentration camp. Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. Viktor E. Frankl.

He could easily have included hens, Mairead.

Wherever I go, there I am.

| Mairead

16 7a

(The girls up-close)

I drove to the local town this morning. Well it had been a while since’s my last coffee shop and I thought I’d better keep up the habit. Also, there might be an opportunity to talk to someone…. There was. I met a Spanish woman. She was from the north-west of Spain and was living in Ireland. As you can imagine I wondered how she was coping with the weather, so I asked. It rains as much in her part of Spain as it does in Ireland but it’s the cold wind she doesn’t like. Then I got talking to two lovely women in the second-hand bookshop. For little or nothing I got an English school book and two hardback craft books.

16 7b

(Another egg!)

Afterwards I came home and let the hens out. They were very happy to see me and stayed close so I could take a picture. I’m going to miss them when I leave. I’m also going to miss walking out in the garden and being surrounded by trees with only the sounds of the stream and the wild birds. That always calms me and it doesn’t seem to matter if its raining. I’ve been reading another book this week called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, where the author spends a year researching how she can become happier. She’s concerned she doesn’t appreciate what she has and gets quite short-tempered with her husband and her children. In the book for each month she choses a theme and then sets herself several tasks. For example, in January the theme is Boost Energy and one of the tasks is Go to sleep earlier; May’s theme is Be Serious about Play and one of the tasks, Find more fun. 

16 7d

(The first ripe tomato in the greenhouse)

Anyway, I haven’t finished reading yet but it’s quite an entertaining book and I’m sure I’ll refer to it again (she has a blog at http://www.happiness-project.com). In everything we read (or hear or see) our own message jumps out at us and here in the wilderness I have been in the perfect place to notice a message for me. I thought living in the middle of nowhere on my own would be very different to living in a town with my family. For starters I thought I’d get lots done, I thought there would be fewer distractions (turns out I adore distractions and create them when there’s none!) Of course, it is a very different experience, on the outside, just not on the inside. Wherever I go I bring my habits and patterns with me and a new location doesn’t change that.

16 7e

(A very graceful flower)

The message I got (so far) from The Happiness Project? It doesn’t matter where you are you can be happy (or not), you can be productive (or not), you can be distracted (or not) it’s up to you to choose. The location doesn’t choose for you. I also like the quote, from Enjoy now, one of March’s tasks, “The fun part doesn’t come later, now is the fun part.”

I’m back home now, Mairead.

Who let the hens out?

| Mairead

(The girls)

I woke late this morning because I’d had a very disgruntled feline visitor during the night who needed to get outside urgently (at least that’s what I think he was saying) at 3.45am. It may take me a few more days to understand the routine. I’m out of sync with the hens too, I forgot that they won’t lay eggs unless I leave them in their pen until noon but I let them out at seven yesterday morning. When I arrived here on Monday there was a lovely warm brown egg waiting for me. I know I could have bought eggs in Tesco when I was gathering supplies but the thought that I could be eating my own (well.. not exactly my own..) produce was enough to stop me. Now I want to make pancakes so I’m going to need another egg. I have a feeling that the hens like getting out early so I’ll have to be strong and think of pancakes.

(Are these edible?)

When I did wake this morning the sun was shining – yea! I was beginning to think there would be non-stop rain for my entire visit. Last night I was cold enough to light the stove and grey enough to watch the TV. I’m glad to report that I have not been sucked back to TV-land (was there always so many ads?) in fact I think I might be frightened away from it altogether. Between the (bad) nine o clock news and half a scary story about a con man in America I was feeling very nervous climbing the stairs to bed.

(Is there a con man around that corner?)

Fortunately, I’ve been reading Stop Thinking and Start Living by Richard Carlson so I went to bed and slept. Actually that book is very interesting, it talks about how we are constantly thinking and we don’t even realise it. It’s like we’re listening to a radio station in our head. Unfortunately it’s a station full of bad news and cutting remarks… about me (or you – if it’s in your head!) It wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t continue the thought and add to it, with more bad news or meanness towards ourselves. The solution? Notice the thought and let it go. For example, last night I might have had the thought, it’s very scary being here alone when there are so many con men around. So as soon as I realise I’m thinking this I pause and choose to think of something else, something useful to be thinking while I’m alone. Like, I’ll read my nice book about a woman reading her dead friend’s journal! (It’s called The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D by Nichole Bernier and I’m really enjoying it.) Thinking is very useful but not when it scares and saddens us.

Think something nice about yourself, Mairead.