perfect as you are

Perfect as you are…..

| Mairead

(The leaves and wine red shoots)

Ok I seem to be drawn to the perfect as you are theme again today, so bear with me…..

We have a plant in a tub in the back garden. Every year in June it sends up shoots and green leaves unfold from these shoots. The shoots are deep wine red and after a few weeks yellow flowers begin to open out from the tips. A few more weeks pass and the flowers die, the the leaves go brown, and eventually the shoots go brown and dry and break off easily. Then there’s nothing left to see in the tub. At this point I usually move it out of the way and forget about it.

(The tip of the shoot about to flower)

This year I haven’t been out in the garden much so it surprised me when I noticed the cycle had begun and the shoots were up and already producing leaves. So I moved the tub back to a place where I could see it unfold beautifully. And it is…. unfolding… beautifully.

(The yellow flowers)

So I was thinking….. is the plant perfect when it’s flowering? Or is it perfect when the shoots are shooting? Or is it perfect just before the flowers unfold? Or is it perfect when it’s dormant and out of the way? And the only answer that comes to me is…. it’s always perfect.

(The shoot with friend)

So….. could it also be true that no matter what stage in the cycle of our lives we are in, (on top of the world, down in the dumps, flowing along, crying our eyes out, laughing our heads off, making loads of money, spending too much, eating too much, having too little, doing too much, doing too little…….) that we are always perfect too?

How would you be if you knew you were perfect? Would you be unfolding as beautifully as the plant in our back garden? Probably!

You are perfect. Now, allow yourself to unfold… beautifully, Mairead.

PS anyone know what the plant is called?

Poor Fred

| Mairead

(Pink geraniums in an old seed box)

We’re all feeling the love for our cat, Fred, at the moment. He’s not well. We brought him to the vet. He has viral gingivitis, which means his mouth hurts…. a lot. When we got home we looked it up on google. He has lots of the symptoms – not eating, irritable, reclusive, drooling, not much fun really…. The vet gave him antibiotics and he’s sleeping peacefully in the armchair as I write.

(Purple flowers)

Our pets have a knack of bringing out the best in us. They are unconditional with their attention and so allow us to trust them. We trust that it’s unlikely they will look for someone prettier, happier, richer than us. They like us just the way we are, and they like our furniture too! So we open up and we love them back.

(Sun flower)

So if they like us just the way we are and they’re bringing out the best in us……. maybe that’s enough? Maybe it’s enough to know we are loveable, just the way we are.

We’ve been pet approved, Mairead.

Happy Days

| Mairead

(A sail boat off Bray beach)

The de-clutter continues and yesterday I was going through the drawers in the sitting room. Three drawers in particular were lovely. At some point they had become the dumping ground for old birthday cards, mother’s day cards and father’s day cards. The drawers were full and had not been tidied for some time so the cards on the bottom were from ten years ago. Among the beautiful purchased cards, were even more beautiful hand made cards.

(Bray Head)

These hand made cards were created using folded pieces of A4 paper, pencil and crayon. They were made by seven, maybe eight year old hands. The spelling isn’t perfect. The planning isn’t exactly right (words disappear off the page or are squashed together near the edge). They don’t stand up on their own. At first glance they aren’t even attractive. But I’m keeping them!

(The Big Wheel, at the Bray Summer Festival)

Because they are real. The real is perfect, it’s just not plastic perfect. So next time something you create doesn’t turn out exactly perfect, celebrate the real perfect in it. You can even put it in a drawer for later.

You’re real perfect, Mairead.

ps if it’s a cake, don’t bother putting it into a drawer, send it on to me.

The Piano Tuner

| Mairead

(More beautiful stuff from the Yarn Room)

The piano tuner was here today. As you might expect he was tuning the piano….. His name is Rob and he’s lovely. Although, I can’t always understand what he says, I think he said something profound today! He’s from the USA and he lives in Mayo and it’s not his accent that I find hard to understand. He speaks music. He also plays the saxophone. I suppose I mean everything about him reflects his music. (Not that I’ve ever heard him play music, except for the single notes on the piano as he’s tuning.)

(Going round in circles?)

The profound thing he said today…… “no piano has perfect pitch”. Followed by “playing electronic keyboards can give you a false sense of expectation because they seem to have perfect pitch… they don’t go out of tune”. I liked that! (Now I might need to put in a note of warning, as I’m not naturally musical –  this is what I think he said, ok?)

(Very big pot)

So…. the piano is the real deal, made from wood and string stuff (surely nothing from a cat?) Anyway, time passes and someone invents the keyboard. A plastic copy of the piano. It’s perfect, it’s lighter, it has perfect pitch and it never needs to be tuned. So it’s better than the piano….. or is it? No of course it’s not!  Even the very best, most expensive, up to the minute keyboards don’t feel the same (to the piano player) as an acoustic piano.

(Possibly yellow poppies?)

It’s a bit like us, really.

When we’re not perfect, we’re also not plastic, we’re the real deal!

Plastic is so the 1960’s, Mairead.

Awful Arabella

| Mairead

(Maybe it’s time to cut the grass)

Ok, assignment well on the way to being finished… so I’ll take a break to tell you a story. When our children were little I used to love reading to them. I think it was mainly because it involved sitting down! But also, the rhythm of a voice reading (even your own!) is hypnotic and I was probably glad of the effect it had on all of us.

(Nice looking hydrangeas)

One of my favourite books was Awful Arabella by Bill Gillham, illustrated by Margaret Chamberlain (looked this up on Amazon and it brought it all back). I read that book hundred’s of times, no exaggeration. It was very short with two lines and a picture per page, and I still love it. So the story goes, Arabella arrived to stay at the narrator’s home and she was awful. She mis-behaved all day and wouldn’t go to bed and then in the middle of the night she was sick – throwing up type sick. The next day she was much better behaved but in her efforts to be a good girl she made just as big a mess. In spite of all that, when she was leaving the whole family were very sad to see her go.

(Love blue)

The last picture in the book sees Arabella on her own waving from the front gate with a big suitcase in her hand and the family at the front door crying into their handkerchiefs.

(Yellow flowers that come back every year without any effort from me – and they’re not weeds)

Now that I think about it maybe I liked it because of it’s message. I must have been reading it for myself, because it’s a great message for any parent.

No matter how badly you’ve behaved you’re still loveable and forgivable and we’ll miss you when you’re gone!

Missing you already, Mairead.

The front of the Westport train goes to Galway

| Mairead

(Comfy throws at my Somatics class)

I was travelling on the 7.30am train from Dublin to Westport, last year. I had brought my crochet needle and wool, a magazine, bottle of filtered water, snacks, a pen and some paper. It’s a three and a half hour journey, I wanted to be prepared! Something you may not know about that Dublin to Westport train is that it goes to Galway too. Well, only the front bit of the train goes to Galway. It’s an efficiency thing, I think. The whole train goes as far as Athlone and then the front bit is unhooked and it goes onto Galway while the back bit goes to Westport. A bit worrisome the first time I travelled on it,  but once I realised which bit of the train I needed to be sitting in, it was fine.

(Rua the horse)

Anyway, this time I had spread my things out on the table and was settling into my crochet when the ticket collector came to check my ticket. He also checked the ticket of a male passenger (there was only two of us in the carriage) in a seat on the other side of the aisle from me. It seemed the man was going to Galway, but here he was sitting in the back bit of the train. The bit that was going to Westport! (Are you’re feeling my anxiety here?) Anyway, the ticket man explained that he needed to go to the front of the train and the man nodded. But… he didn’t move……

(Sally the angel and her stars)

The ticket man left to check the passenger’s tickets in the next carriage. I was doing my best to concentrate on my crochet and remain calm (why was I so worried?) when the man for Galway gets my attention by showing me his ticket and pointing to a station we are flying past.

I realise something….. he can’t talk.

I read his ticket, it said Galway (which I knew). I can talk so I assumed I could communicate. But I couldn’t. Not that I didn’t try. I did try…. (remember the problem with trying….?)

(Thierry’s cook books)

First, I spoke very clearly and concisely, saying, “No, you must move to the front of the train for Galway.” He nodded, and smiled, a lot, but he still didn’t move. So I had another idea, I wrote the same message on my notebook and handed it to him. He smiled and nodded again but still didn’t move. I began using hand gestures towards the front of the train. He had a lovely smile…. but he still didn’t move. My message was not being understood. I was starting to feel anxious again. There was still another hour until we arrived in Athlone, there was still time for him to get to the right part of the train. I had to come up with a plan. So I did. I decided I would take him by the arm and guide him to the front of the train just before we arrived in Athlone.

(Poker food….)

But I had a problem…. I had been up since 5am to get this train and I was now starting to feel drowsy. Usually I just doze off at some point but now I couldn’t possibly close my eyes in case I was asleep when we got to Athlone! While I’m contemplating this I look over and the man has fallen asleep! Now we are close to Athlone, I am a nervous wreck and I’ve ripped the crochet five times.

And then the ticket man returns.

(Poker chips)

He patiently wakes the man and tells him it’s time to move to the front of the train and communicates this somehow because the man gets up and follows him…. but not before giving me a big smile, a lovely smile.

And I thought….. there was nothing for me to worry about. I didn’t need to fix anything. All is well. It always was….

All is well, Mairead.

The story of Zac and the pooh.

| Mairead

During December I spent some time with my nine year-old niece, who seems to attract trouble, skillfully! She has inspired me to write the following story. (By the way, my sister, her Mum, discovered that she had started to re-write the story using a new spelling for the stuff that was attracted to Zac. She guessed adults might not like the word poo….. I respect my neice’s wisdom so I have changed the spelling in the following version.)

Story for Caoimhe.

Once upon a time there was a little boy who had an unusual skin problem, pooh of all kinds was attracted to him. Wherever he went pooh flew to him like iron filings to a magnet. His Mum and Dad and his Granny cleaned off this pooh so that the boy could walk among the people of the village without being laughed at or shunned. But the boy hated this cleaning. He shouted and raged against his parents and Granny. You see he didn’t know that he was constantly covered in pooh and he didn’t smell it. One day he was so angry (about the cleaning) that he ran out into the garden and screamed and screamed. When he finally got tired of screaming he stopped and immediately heard a quiet voice whisper,

“Zac, would you like to see my magic mirror?”

Over by the compost heap stood a little fairy girl and in her hand was a tiny little mirror. The little boy was astonished because he had never seen a fairy before and he didn’t realise fairy’s could speak.

“Yes, please”, he whispered.

So the fairy girl held up the mirror in her two hands and Zac looked in, and for the first time he saw that he was covered in pooh. He jumped back in fright and landed in a patch of carrots, on his bum. He was very surprised and nearly missed what the fairy girl said next.

“Now Zac, look as I turn the mirror over.”

And he looked and what he saw was so… so…. so…. beautiful and so handsome and so lovely that he smiled – a very big smile. And when he smiled that very big smile he saw himself in the mirror shining like a bright light for everyone to see and admire. Then the fairy girl whispered,

“Zac, its time to let go of the pooh.”

But the little boy didn’t know how to do that so the fairy girl gave him instructions:

“First, every day for the next 21 days while your Mum and Dad and Granny clean off the pooh you have to stand very still. Second, after the 21 days are up, come out here and meet me again and I will give you my magic mirror and further instructions.”

Zac did exactly as he was told and 21 days later returned to the spot by the compost heap where the fairy girl was waiting. She held up the mirror and he saw how gorgeous he was and when the mirror was turned over he saw that he was gorgeous on that side too.

“How come I look so great on both sides, now?”, he asked…. and the fairy girl replied, “Because now, Zac, you are as beautiful on the outside as you always were on the inside.”

And the fairy girl gave Zac the mirror and told him to check from time to time how he was doing on the outside, but to always know that, “you are beautiful, radiant, and shining always, always, always on the inside, where it matters.”

From that day on only small bits of pooh clung to Zac and when he looked in the mirror and realised they were there, he stood still and cleaned them off, himself. But always, always when he looked at the other side of the mirror he was beautiful, handsome, gorgeous and radiant.

The End.

What programs are you running?

| Mairead

I’m reading a lot at the moment, and different ideas are popping into my head. I’ve started to call this “organic study.” One of the books I’ve been reading is called Using your Brain for a Change by Richard Bandler. He was the architect, back in the 70’s, along with John Grinder of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). There is one quote in the book which I particularly love,

“People aren’t broken, they work perfectly. The important question is, How do they work, now? So that you can help them to work perfectly in a way that is more pleasant and useful.”

I love that, it makes me feel better – I am working perfectly. I’m working perfectly to get the results I get at the moment. If the results I get at the moment are unpleasant or not useful, then how I work has to change. Just how I work.

That reminded me….. I used to be a software programmer in the 80’s in a company in Dublin. I worked with interesting people and I loved solving problems, but other than that I hated my job! People were always complaining. Well, to be exact, the users who used the programs I wrote were always complaining to me!  (The programmers called the people who used the programs “users” and the users called us “computer experts” as in, “Well you’re supposed to be the computer experts, aren’t you?”) The programs never seemed to do what the users wanted them to do.

Let me, in my defense, explain the problem. The users I dealt with were from the finance department, and they needed programs to analyse their financial figures. For example, they might need a report showing how much the company spent on parts in the last quarter, with details sorted by supplier. Nowadays all this can be done easily in (probably) half an hour on a laptop by someone who’s done a day course in databases. Back in the 1980’s there was a special room to house the computer and another room to house the programmers and a simple program might take a week to complete!

In order for someone from finance to get a simple report they first had to explain to me what they wanted on their report. They had to do that in a way that a non-financial person (me) would understand. I, for my part had to ask questions to understand exactly what was required, and I needed to ask in a way that a non-programmer would understand. Added to this was an atmosphere of animosity between the users and the programmers, which made communication a little difficult!

Very early in my programming career I wrote a program for one of the people in the finance department – lets call him Jim. I got some information from Jim about what he wanted and set to work. It took me a week to write and test the program and when it was ready, I rang Jim and let him know. He had to wait until after the weekend to receive the new report because the computer was so slow that any extra programs must be run at quiet times, like overnight or weekends. So he waited patiently (or more likely impatiently), until Monday for his report.

Monday rolled along and I got a phone call from Jim, shouting something like, “It’s not #$?!!#@ working! The stupid computer is broken! I wanted it sorted by part within supplier and it’s coming out supplier within part!”

I couldn’t tell Jim but the program was working. It was doing exactly what I had programmed it to do.  A program always does what the programmer programs it to do. Unfortunately, what I had programmed it to do was not what Jim had wanted! It did not produce the results he wanted. My code was wrong.  Eventually when he calmed down I got some more information from him and changed the program so that it produced the results wanted.

Like computers, we run programs. The programs were written by programmers called mother, father, teacher, and society in general. The programs do what they wanted us to do at the time. We “work” exactly as we were programmed. The programs we run produce results. If the results you are getting now as a mature adult are unpleasant or not useful for you, then you can change the program.

How do you change the program? First step is to realise that you are running programs. Once you are aware of that, the next step will become available to you

Before I left my job in 1987 the company  introduced personal computers for each department. Teaching the users to use their own personal computer was the most enjoyable work I did during my time at that company. They learned how to produce their own reports, make changes and get the results they wanted. In a way I’m still doing that job. I work with people who run programs and get results and I show them how to change those programs to get the results they want!

I don’t want to feel calm when I have no money!

| Mairead

It’s a beautiful day outside as I write. In the past it was for days like this, that I waited to feel content. Seems strange now but its the truth for me.

At that time I didn’t know but I was getting up and checking the weather and then deciding how I would feel on a given day. I didn’t even know that I had a choice. If I did, why would I ever choose to feel less than content? (Funny enough sometimes I would choose to feel miserable.)

Of course I’m simplifying it by saying it was just the weather that I checked. There were lots of checks! What do you check? Just this morning a friend told me that he always felt down if the cash flow wasn’t good. So I guess he checked how much money he had and if it was enough (whatever that was on the day) he could choose to feel well otherwise he chose to feel down. At the time it struck me that his cash flow was more important to him than his state of mind. Money was his priority; how he felt, had to be decided on afterwards. This is not unusual, lots of people do it, but is it useful?

Surely our state of mind is more important than money or the weather or the other stuff we can’t change? I can change my state of mind. I can choose the state I want for this moment. You can too. Consider a moment in time when the weather was fine and you were feeling content/calm/peaceful/glad/joyful (choose any), take a deep breath and enjoy. If you’ve chosen to follow those instructions then you’ve chosen your state of mind. Would you like to consider a time (real or imagined) when you had enough money and you’re feeling content/calm/peaceful/glad/joyful or whatever. Again, take a deep breath and enjoy.

When you do this every day some things become clear. For me – it wasn’t my circumstances that made me happy/sad/glad. I realised it is possible to separate my circumstances from my state of mind.

Let’s play around with that concept with imagination: On a really wet day, for a moment add in happy; with nothing in your purse, for a moment add in calm; your boss/mother/spouse is in front of you pointing out your faults, for a moment add in peaceful. And for that moment it works. So maybe it could work for every moment. (Remember earlier I mentioned that sometimes I used to choose to feel miserable? Did you notice at any point during this playing that you thought “but, I don’t want to feel calm when I’ve no money” or “I can’t feel peaceful when ….etc”, if you did then you’re choosing to feel not-calm, not-peaceful, so we understand each other?)

It’s simple isn’t it? Well it is, but it’s not easy! It’s not a quick fix, it’s a life’s work, but it is possible.

Do it soon, it could be the start of your life’s work!