choices

Yarn and Patterns

| Mairead

(sigh…)

I love making scones. In fact I’m finding it a little difficult to write because my mouth is watering in anticipation. And since I’m not actually making them, just writing about making them there is nothing to anticipate….. Usually when I think about making scones, I go ahead and make them. So my mouth has learned the pattern and is responding. Pavlov did an experiment with dogs and food and salivating, not that I’m comparing myself to a dog… but it is a similar concept.

(One of the Yarn Room people made these crochet flowers)

I love going to craft shops. I went to The Yarn Room in Ashford yesterday. They sell yarn….. and books and fabric paint and needles and weaving looms and thread and buttons and…. And they give classes and they have a Knit Night every Thursday, where people turn up and knit!  Everyone who works there does crafty things, yesterday Stephanie was following a pattern in one of their books to make a crochet waistcoat in a beautiful multicoloured yarn. When I go there I feel good. I don’t have to try to feel good, my whole body has learned the pattern and is happy to oblige.

(sigh…)

I hate, well, really dislike, cheese. The texture is yucky. The smell is awful. A food that is applauded for going mouldy can’t be good. My nose is wrinkling just imagining it. My stomach is churning a bit too. I didn’t have to move my nose it was way ahead of me and my stomach remembers a night in the 80’s when I thought cheese fondu was a good idea…… it wasn’t.

(sigh, sigh…)

I have lots of patterns set up in my mind and my body, that go back even further than the 1980’s. Some of them limit me and some of them lift me. My job is to notice and choose the ones I want.

Who’s for scones and jam? Mairead.

Oranges and Sunshine

| Mairead

(Does that look safe to you?)

We’re going to the movies tonight. To the Mermaid Theatre. Every Monday night it turns into a cinema. The movie is called Oranges and Sunshine. I’ve read the book and couldn’t put it down. It’s about a woman who discovered by accident that little children from Britain were sent to Australian orphanages in the 1940’s, after the second world war. Their parents thought their children had been adopted by families in Britain. The children had been told their parents were dead. She found it difficult to get information but little by little she discovered the details were far worse than anyone realised. It’s a true story.

(More patterns)

Just in case you want to see it, I’ll say no more…. Except, the bit that was by accident is very interesting. She was working as a social worker and she had clients who were adopted and had found or were in the process of finding, or beginning the process of finding, their birth parents. She felt they needed a support group, so she set one up. And it hadn’t been running long when a series of events led to her uncovering the story that’s in the movie.

(Liam brought us a very nice cake box and there was cake in it!)

Anyway, what I find interesting is, this woman didn’t plan to do some great big thing. She was doing her own little thing. Not that setting up a support group is little, it was very helpful to the people in the group. But she ended up being helpful to far greater numbers of people. And if she hadn’t done that first thing……

(No pictures please! How do I convince people they really DO want their picture taken?)

So I was thinking…. there’s probably some small thing calling out to all of us. Some little thing that we’d like to do but we haven’t got the time. Or maybe we think it might be selfish to do it. Or it could be considered a bit silly. But what if doing that little thing could accidentally lead us to uncovering an amazing story…. our story? That’s a nice idea.

Just one small thing, Mairead.

Start at the end…

| Mairead

(Like a bird on the wire……)

I was reading the book Do the Work by Steven Pressfield while we were on holidays and I’ve been thinking about it again today. The part I’m remembering is the bit about Start with the End. We do something similar in Success Teams.

(Big stones turn into little ones….)

The idea is, you ask yourself what you want to be true at the end of a project. So let’s say the project was… the printing I was doing yesterday. What do I want to be true at the end? At the end I want a hand printed piece of material that could be hung on the wall. That’s the external reason. But there’s also an internal reason.

(The stream flows to the sea…..)

So I ask the question –  what’s it all about? What is it about this finished project that grabs me? What is it that makes me glow, or sparkle or shine or sing! That’s when the internal reason appears. For my printing project…… I wanted to create repeating patterns. I wanted to use paint because I love the way it starts like a blob and then flows. I love the way you can roll it onto a piece of wood and the wood becomes wet with the paint. I love that pressing the painted block onto the cotton material leaves an impression……. And then repeating it makes a pattern and I sigh…. that’s it.

(And the waves roll in and out… )

Going into this much detail with the ending makes a lasting impression on your unconscious, so that it’s almost as if the project was already done….. and it was… in the future! And that draws you towards it… compels you towards it. Imagine if the thing you wanted was drawing you towards it? It would become possible. The thing you want is possible….. how cool is that? Then, you can take the first step…..

The end,  Mairead.

Why are we here?

| Mairead

(More patterns)

I’ve started my de-clutter project. So far my room is beginning to feel clear and un-cluttered….. in one corner. This isn’t going to be a rush job. It took a long time to get this way, it will take more than one day to undo.

I noticed as soon as I got up this morning I was ready to begin and that got me thinking about intention. Intention is very interesting. It’s where you consciously decide how you want to be, or how you’re want a situation to be. Then, it acts as a guiding light drawing you towards exactly that. So in effect yesterday I set the intention of clearing the clutter today. Because I had written about it, it was very clear in my mind what my intention was and it corresponded with what I wanted to happen. Ok, I still had to empty the drawers – it’s not magic but it is easier.

(Hanging around on Bray Promenade)

Each time we get into the car to drive we start off with an intention. To go to work, the shops, the garage, the airport. A long time ago when my daughter was little and I was running late, I drove to the supermarket instead of her play-school. I was thinking of what we needed for dinner. When the car stopped, she said “This isn’t my school, why are we here?”

(And more patterns)

If we do not consciously set the intention then we get the default and what’s worse it’s usually the thing we fear happening. So for example, if you hate social occasions, then the default intention as you enter a party is  something like, “I’m going to hate this.”. You definitely didn’t want that. A more useful intention might be “I’m going to notice people or things I like about this party”. Now your attention has a focus other than your dislike of the situation.

(Somewhere a farmer intends to feed his animals for the winter)

Intention focuses the attention. Do you want your attention to be on what you fear happening? Or what you’d love to happen? What would you love to happen? Put your attention on what you’d love to happen by setting that as your intention. Hint: Start small!

Where are you driving to? Mairead

Let the Bag Decide

| Mairead

(You can never have enough tin cans…. or blue paint…..)

On holidays, a small bag was the only storage available for my worldly goods. There’s only so much luggage a motorbike can carry and it’s not as much as a small car! At first it seemed impossible. How would I fit everything I needed? Maybe it was impossible.

But Denis devised a mantra which he delivered faithfully whenever I asked if there was room for something new….. “Let the Bag Decide”. By this he meant, if it fits in the (small) bag then there was room for it.. but the bag had to close……..

(You can never have enough baskets……)

So I had to prioritise. I had to bring less. I had to choose what was important to me. Not a bad exercise. But the surprising things? It was amazingly freeing, really…… and easy to keep tidy…. and easy to pack up….. and easy to unpack….. and it took me less time to choose what I would wear each morning, not a small saving!…… and I didn’t miss the stuff I didn’t bring.

(Maybe you can have too many CDs…)

Back home there’s no need to prioritise. If I think I might wear something I hang onto it just in case. It’s not just clothes. So I was thinking it’s time for a new mantra:   “Less is More”

Starting tomorrow (too busy tidying up to start today…) I’m doing a de-clutter.

(You can never have too many board games……)

How many shoes do I really need? Could five rain coats be excessive, even if it is raining in June? Can I survive the loss of the old paint cans in the shed? Will I regret dumping (in the recycle bin) the jam jars I’ve been saving for…. mm… for something?

Less is More, Mairead

Gratitude

| Mairead

(Thank you note)

I got a beautiful Thank you note from my niece this morning. It was pink and had hearts and flowers on it, all things I love. She said she loved the gift we had given her.

But…. what gift had we given her?

(I love hearts. Thank you Sally.)

Sometimes we can be completely unaware of the impact we are having on others. Our family, our friends, our neighbours, the people who serve us in the supermarket, the people we pass on the road in our car, on our bike or our feet. Are any of these people grateful for meeting us? Would any of these people send us a Thank you card? And what would it say if they did?

(…. Thanks!)

Thank you for listening to me…. Thank you for being there…… Thank you for smiling when you passed my door……Thank you for understanding when I made a mistake with your groceries……. Thank you for letting me pass at the narrow  part of the road…… Thank you for saying “Hi” when we met on the path…

Or what about the Thank you card you would send to them? Thank you for your support… Thank you for reading my emails…..Thank you for your understanding when our drains were mis-behaving (maybe not many people would have that one?)….. Thank you for admiring my skirt today, I wasn’t sure it worked…. Thank you for waving when I let you pass at the narrow part of the road….. Thank you for responding when I said “Hi”….

(Thank you, Thank you, Thank you)

These are not big things. But the impact – that’s BIG. Today my niece’s card has reminded me of gratitude. Thank you, Caoimhe, for reminding me and for being you.

What are you grateful for? Mairead.

Just do it.

| Mairead

(Irish sky – we have the best clouds!)

We travelled for 4,500 kilometers in wind and rain and sun. We were coughed on and sneezed near, and we were never ill. But we’re home now and we have the ‘flu…..

(French sky)

So my thinking is not very clear today and that may lead to this post not being very clear but I have hope! It’s about trying. We use that word all the time but do we really know what we’re saying?

(More French sky)

Today I’m trying to write my blog. Trying involves a lot of effort. There’s a lot of gazing out at the cloudy blue sky. There’s a lot of thoughts about all the other things I should be doing at the same time. There’s a lot of re-writing and deleting. It’s very hard work. Very serious work. Do you realise what work is involved in this blog writing? Oh, its tough. It’s not much fun either and I doubt if it’s fun to read…..

(Spanish sky)

Usually, I don’t try to write my blog. Usually, I just write my blog. There’s no effort. I hardly look up. Once I start I couldn’t care less about what else needs to be done. I hardly change a thing (except spellings, I still manage to mis-spell!). It’s very easy. It’s not serious, it’s funny in my tummy! There’s no work involved. It’s not tough, it’s fun to do and maybe it’s even fun to read……

(Irish sky)

It’s so much easier when I don’t try…… and instead just do it…… Trying is no fun, I like fun.

Was that clear? Mairead.

PS I have set aside a large inbox area in my email for correspondence relating to recipes from you…. but so far there’s only one recipe in there (thank you Madge, we will be eating Chicken in White Wine and Mushroom Sauce tonight and thinking happy thoughts about you). I’m guessing you might be trying to get around to sending me one…. stop trying! I need your recipes, now. Thank you.

Don’t just say No – feel it!

| Mairead

(Spot the difference?)

I was at my friend Ashleigh’s (www.timeforbusywomen.com) workshop on Saturday. It was held in a beautiful setting in Co. Dublin. I really enjoyed it and I now feel very focused on my next project. On the day Ashleigh talked about a lot of things and one thing that struck me was what she called the “Internal No”.

(Ashleigh’s notebook, where she keeps all her quotes)

The way I understand it, this is something you can use when you want to change the dynamic of a relationship. The kind of relationship where you might have been saying “Yes” more than you want to? Or maybe the kind of relationship where you have been saying “No” but you haven’t been heard? Where your “no” turns into a “well, no, not really, oh well, ok then go ahead, alright yes”.

(Lunch at the workshop)

So, maybe you’re asked to work an extra shift. But you don’t want to and it doesn’t feel like you’ve been asked. It feels like you “have to ” say “Yes”. Using the Internal No, you get a strong sense of the “No” you’re already feeling. By that I mean you feel what “No” is physically to you. Too crazy? Do it even if it seems crazy! Do it even if you don’t know what I’m asking for and see what happens…..

(What’s different about these flowers?)

Because our body knows a lot more than our mind gives it credit for…… Stop thinking “No” and start feeling “No” and then, when it’s good and strong in your body, say it. Doesn’t have to be loud, definitely doesn’t have to be angry, it’s just a word you body is feeling right now. Honour your body! Say no!

(Shiny floor)

What’s your body feeling? Mairead.

PS can also be used with children, friends, dogs and even cats! Ashleigh is running another workshop in September.

Decisions, Decisions.

| Mairead

(Mantlepiece decoration in Powerscourt)

Today I made a decision. Decisions are very interesting concepts. The idea that there are two or more possibilities to choose from should be exhilarating. It rarely is though. Because, if you think you have a decision to make, you have probably already ignored your “feeling” and… you’ve started to irritate yourself.

(Nice door….)

So, you’re walking along the street, you wonder if you’ll cross here or further on. Immediately, you will know what feels right. But that’s too easy, isn’t it? So you second guess it. Maybe here isn’t such a good spot, maybe you should wait until the corner or further on at the traffic lights? And you walk on. Later you start to wonder if after all, that first spot was the very best place to cross….. now, what’ll you do?

(My kind of books. Two of them are completely blank inside!)

Most decisions are made before we even realise it, in our body. Then we think about it and poke at it and annoy ourselves until we’re so bothered we make any choice just to stop the irritation. Wouldn’t it be great if we could go directly to the choice we know we want, hang the consequences and give up the irritation?

(Nice tree…)

I’ve decided to take weekends off! The next post will be on Monday morning.

Have a nice weekend, Mairead.