story

What’s your story?

| Mairead

3 12a

(Mount Usher in Ashford, Co. Wicklow)

The story of our lives is not the story of what happened… It’s the story of what we are. The story that starts “I am….” The story we think we became because of our behaviour or our actions. The story that says this is the type of person I am. This story is probably built up from lots and lots of small experiences and things other people told us…  From the moment we learned the story of us everything that happened after that had to fit into that particular story. It had to make sense in our story. If it didn’t then it got deleted… We become very attached to our story.

3 12c

(Strong, beautiful tree even with all its flaws…)

Like a film maker producing a movie about a famous politician – only stories that agree with the filmmaker’s belief about the politician will be included…. if he believes the politician is a wonderful honest statesman then the stories from his life that show him as an honest and a wonderful statesman will be included. If the filmmaker believes that the politician is a dishonest scoundrel then the film maker will depict stories from the politician’s life where he is dishonest and a scoundrel. The filmmaker may be completely honest in his choices, i.e. he truly believes the politician is honest or he truly believes the politician is dishonest.

03 12d

(At the boundary of Mount Usher there’s a fence. Beyond the fence there’s a field with very old trees. You can either see the fence or shift your focus a bit and see the trees…..)

Same with our choice of what fits into our story – the movie of us. If the story we truly believe about ourselves says we are flawed then we will only include the times we have been flawed into our movie. Even if we have been a good friend at some point in our life we will delete or distort that memory and remember instead the time we were a bad friend. This is in order that our flawed friend story remains intact. If the story of you says you are flawed then fortunately, you can start again with a new story.

Choose something in your story you don’t like and start to notice the opposite. Mairead.

Watch La Luna by Pixar!

| Mairead

3

(Butterfly on lavender at Powerscourt Estate)

I watched a beautiful short movie on Sunday… here’s the blurb about it. There’s a little boy, his father and his grandfather and they are out in their boat. In the beginning of the movie the father gives his son a hat, the same kind of hat as the father’s, the same kind of hat as the grandfather’s. The father places this hat on the son, in a particular way – just like his own hat is placed on his head. The grandfather huffs and puffs, grabs the hat and then places it on his grandson’s head in a different particular way – just like his own hat is placed on his head.

7 8b

(Gothic doorway)

There’s a bit of a scuffle and the father’s way of placing the hat on the little boy’s head finally wins and the story continues.

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(Raindrops on flowers… requested by Grahame…..;-/)

By the end of the story the little boy places his hat in a completely different particular way on his own head as he teaches his father and grandfather something new. Our children learn all they can from us and then there comes a time for us to learn from our children. Probably sooner than we think…..

What’s the lesson for today? Mairead.

The rainy season has arrived…. time for a story change!

| Mairead

25 9a

(Lovely day in Cashel, Co. Tipperary on Saturday)

It rained all day yesterday and it looks like it’s ready to do the same today. As always it’s funny how I get used to the weather and think it’ll never be any other way…. then it changes. At the weekend it was dry a little cold and sunny, I thought that was going to last, in fact I can’t remember where I put my rain coat and I don’t remember when I last needed it. It’s like the story of our lives…..

25 9b

(Livestock in the grounds of Cashel Palace enjoying the sunshine)

When we’ve got past childhood and we’re making our way in the world we take with us lots of goodies. We’ve got skills like cooking, organising, speaking French, etc. We’ve got lots of baddies too, like nail-biting, eating with our mouth open, etc. And we’ve got our story. The story that defines us, tells us and the world who we are. Trouble is we are not completely aware of our own story. We’re not completely aware of the story of others either but at least we see their behaviours.

25 9c

(Evening walk beside the Rock of Cashel)

When someone’s behaviour includes repeatedly putting themselves down, you can be sure their story includes a reason to be put down. When someone repeatedly allows others to bully them you can be sure their story includes them as the victim. When someone repeatedly makes fun of themselves, you can be sure their story includes the fool. But there’s good news, we can rewrite the parts of the story we don’t like, the parts that we notice when we notice our behaviour.

25 9d

(Fence post perspective)

We don’t change it by putting ourselves down – that’s just more of the old story. We change the story when we are inspired. When something lights you up, lifts your heart, or just plain interests you – wallow in it!  Play with it. Allow it to inspire a different story.

What lights you up? Mairead.

Wake up Time.

| Mairead

19 9b

(Agawa Canyon… picture by Doris or Grahame (forgot to ask!))

I’m rushing off to a course this morning (more later) so instead of a post here’s a story from the book Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh that explains what waking up from unconscious living means.

19 9a

(A huge rainbow filled the sky one night as we left Staples (stationery shop) in Niagara, it was so big it couldn’t fit in my camera)

A little boy wakes in the morning and realises the whole family has slept in and the whole family will be late for school. He runs to his favourite sister’s room and very gently shakes her awake, “Wake up, wake up we will be late for school.” She awakes and is very angry with her older brother, so she shouts at him and kicks him. He is very upset, because he was gentle when he woke his sister and now she is angry with him. The he remembers that she was coughing in the night and probably didn’t get much sleep and may be very tired. With this realisation he understands his sister and he has woken up from upset. She is his favourite sister again and he is love.

19 9c

(A rock in a lake on the way to Agawa Canyon. There’s beauty everywhere to help us wake up)

In an instant the boy could let go of the upset because he “woke-up”. We’re upset when people treat us badly, we’re upset when things don’t go our way, we’re upset when we can’t do what we want to do, we’re upset when we’re not as strong as we’d like to be, we’re upset when we’re not as wealthy as we planned, we’re upset when we’re sick, when we’re tired, when we’re sad. What if it was possible to let go of the upset and return to love? Being in our natural state of loving is much more comfortable than being in an unnatural state of upset.

We can wake up in an instant, Mairead.

The passionate (and very funny) guide from Fort George.

| Mairead

12 9a

(Everything in Canada is in English and French)

After the power station we went to Fort George, (you can watch a video about its role in the Canadian (British) – American war of 1813) an old British Army Fort. The original fort was constructed in the late 1700’s but had fallen into disrepair by 1815. The present buildings were constructed in 1937. All the buildings are wooden and very pretty. When we arrived the tour had already begun so we ran to catch up with it in the barracks. This is where the ordinary soldiers lived. It was one big room with bunk beds. Soldiers had a really hard life and had to sign up for seven years with little pay and not much comfort. Often they had to stay a further seven years to pay outstanding bills possibly for their uniforms, losing even a button was costly and had to come out of wages.

12 9c

(The background)

The officer’s quarters were much better and they had a much better life, as it was the rich who became officers. (In wealthy families the first son inherited the estate but the second and subsequent sons were given money to buy a job!) They could also pay for good food. While the ordinary soldiers had watery stew for dinner every day, the officers had six courses, often with foods imported from Europe.

12 9d

(Pretty…)

After the tour we were sent out to watch a demonstration of a musket by a really amusing guide. He was obviously passionate about his job and went into great detail telling us about how a musket works and then demonstrating it. Turns out it doesn’t work very well… it misses more often than it hits; it creates a huge smoke cloud when it’s fired, bit of a problem for camouflage; it takes at least half a minute to load one shot; it’s very heavy. But at the time (1800’s) it was the best they had and everyone had the same disadvantages.

12 9g

(Our musket guide)

He told us stories including one about the time he (accidentally) pushed the bayonet into his finger and had to go to the hospital still dressed in his red uniform. When the demonstration was over the assembled crowd didn’t want to leave, we were all smiling waiting for another story and he seemed to be enjoying himself too!

12 9h

(His funny face!)

Was it Confucius who said “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life“? In the end we left because the temperature was hitting thirty degrees and we were off to the beautiful town of Niagara on the Lake.

Choose a job you love! Mairead.

Walking in Delgany Graveyard.

| Mairead

27 8a

(One of the oldest gravestones with the sunburst motif)

On Friday morning when I should have been packing (more about that later…) I was in a graveyard listening to a woman with a passion. It was Delgany graveyard and the woman was Lally de Buitlear. I want to be Lally when I grow up… For those of you who haven’t wandered as a child among old gravestones, it’s never too late to start.

27 8c

(Formerly a spade… )

Last week was heritage week and there were lots of talks around Ireland. Lally introduced a group of thirty of us (including five very attentive children) to gravestones. We learned about the apprenticeship of a gravestone mason, the fashion for the sunburst design up to the 1700’s when it was replaced by the letters IHS. The fact that all the stones face the rising sun. The oldest ones are made of layers of slate, the old church (in ruins) was also made of slate, shipped over from Wales.Then there were the stories. About the odd-looking modern stone – the woman decided well before she died to get rid of her family gravestone and put up a “nice” new one…. About an old bicycle half hidden under the trees. About the power of a Buddleia tree to slowly topple a huge granite gravestone.

27 8b

(Gravestone with IHS motif, notice the layers of slate)

But my favourite story was about Lally herself. When she was younger she decided to go on a photography course and one of her assignments was to visit a graveyard and capture the gravestones. She went to Delgany graveyard and filled her portfolio. Years later when she was committed to the restoration of this graveyard she took out her portfolio and used the photographs to apply for a grant to help with the work. What’s more there was some ruling that said you could only raise fallen gravestones if you had proof that they had been standing. Lally had the proof in her portfolio and her team were able to raise those who had fallen!

27 8d

(Frost damage to the outer layer of slate)

It reminds me that nothing in our lifetime is without value. We may have started ten different jobs and finished none, we may have dropped out of college, we may have stayed in a job we hated, we may have taken time off to raise a child, we may have indulged in baking cakes, in learning karate, in playing board games. It all counts and it all adds up and it’s all valuable. It never too late to indulge your passions. Do the courses you are drawn to and fill your life with the things that make your heart sing. It may even lengthen your life! Thank you Lally de Buitlear, you are an inspiration and a mine of information. (By the way the team of volunteers at Delgany graveyard are always looking for more helpers.)

27 8e

(The little church is in ruins but this floor tile survived)

Right.. the packing… we’re in Toronto! More about that tomorrow, Mairead.

Killruddery Farm Market is on again this Saturday.

| Mairead

02 8a

(This way…)

Last month we went to the Killruddery Farm Market again and it was lovely again. As it happens only once a month (for the moment) I decided to keep the pictures until just before this month’s one, so that anyone who is inspired to visit can do so. It will take place this Saturday 4th August and starts at ten am, (http://www.killruddery.com/whats-on/july-farm-market/)

02 8b

(Margaret and a small selection of her creations)

You might remember I met Fiona from Treasurepalace designs (http://www.treasurepalacedesigns.com) well, she’s encouraged her neighbour Margaret to come along and set up a stall. Margaret has been making and sewing for “years and years” and she does it for different charities. People give her material all the time and she turns it into something beautiful. The result of these gifts of material is that no two finished items are the same. Margaret makes whatever she can with whatever she has – creativity.

02 8c

(Treasurepalace’s stall – notice the dried Hydrangea? Margaret showed Fiona how to do that!)

After our chat we went off for some coffee and I had a blueberry scone. We were sitting at the long table in the middle of the market and we got talking to some other market goers (they were eating the crepes, yum!) It’s a very friendly atmosphere, the stall holders are delighted to chat about their products (we got some lovely pesto and amazing teas and new potatoes) and their’s a constant stream of people happily munching and chatting. We had a great time and felt the benefit of the outing for the whole weekend.

02 8d

(Kingfisher Teas from Enniscorthy, Wexford also have a stall at the Dun Laoghaire market on Sundays)

We’re off to Belfast this weekend to visit friends and we can’t go to the market…. so, if you get a chance do go along to Killruddery Estate (it’s off the Southern Cross road in Bray) and tell Fiona and Margaret that Mairead sent you!

Fear and Hand Holding in Swansea…..

| Mairead

2

(Butterfly enjoying the sun)

The last stop on our Round the United Kingdom, Short Motorbike Tour was Swansea. We went there to attend our daughter’s end of year exhibition. Twelve movies in one evening… don’t worry they were short, about five minutes each. Ciara wrote and directed her movie and she also had an acting role. She played a lesbian. The evening before one of her friends asked her if she was afraid that people would think she was gay. She said she had worried about that for the previous six months…. it was too late now. It was more important to get her message out there, afraid or not, other people’s judgements or not.

3

(Butterfly enjoying some lavender)

When you want to follow your dream, and live your life with purpose, there are sometimes scary things you’ll need to do. And you’ll wonder if this is a good idea…. this sharing of your dream, your wishes, your message, your contribution to healing the world. What will people think? What will they say? How will they treat you? Will they be different? Will they ever speak to you again? Will they understand? Will their judgement resonate with your own judgement of yourself… and make it impossible for you to continue….. when they think you’re not good enough?

1

(Mosaic butterfly in garden at Bloom)

I will include a link so you can watch Ciara’s movie, if you choose. If you do watch you may hear her message. You may understand her message. Or you may miss her message. You may think she is brave. You may think she’s foolhardy.  You may get stuck in wondering if she’s gay or not.  Whatever you get from the watching, one thing I have learned from my judgement of others is that my thoughts and words say more about me than they do about the one I judge. That’s what I got from watching movies on a warm Friday night in Swansea.

What are you saying about yourself? Mairead.

Love Letters, a movie by Ciara Hennessy.