Blogroll

We’re off…….

| Mairead

Ready

(Almost ready to go…)

We’re off to Wales via Scotland and we’ve arrived in Belfast and are sitting on the ferry. It’s been almost twelve months since our last motorbike trip and I had forgotten how much I love it! We left Greystones at 8.30am and it was overcast and a little chilly… but the smells were amazing. Fresh air, soil and grass – yummy.

Big Bridge

(Big Bridge near Dundalk)

An hour later I was very cold and I remembered what I love about cars – the heater. Maybe it’s time to get the heated vest thingy. You wear it inside your jacket and plug it into the bike. Your very own heater. For now all is well, hot tea is warming me up and we have a window seat. There’s also free wi-fi so all is very well.

Here we go

(Here we go)

It’s funny what we get used to. Since I was little I’ve thought that travelling by plane to go on holidays was part of the holiday. The excitement of getting there. The nice person that checked our tickets and took our luggage. The walk to the plane, the smiling air hostess and the cute little meals – that were free! It’s still exciting to go on holidays but the new things they’ve added to the plane journey are not helpful. The plastic bag of liquids. The bins full of half empty water bottles and nail clippers. An odd sense that you might actually be a security risk. The waiting. Boots off. Queueing. Boots on. Fitting your bag into a metal cage or maybe not fitting your bag into the metal cage. More waiting. The cute little free meals are gone now and so are the smiles.

Cosy

(Cosy and dry)

The ferry experience today was very different. Although it was raining there were lots of smiles. We were stopped once to look at our tickets, no you don’t need your passports. Then we drove to lane 14 and waited until a smiling man sent us up the ramp behind a bus, to keep you dry! Another smiling man directed us to the bike section. A third smiling man tied the bike to the boat. The whole thing took ten minutes. And two hours later we’re here.

Welcome to Scotland! Mairead.

Organic Gardening.

| Mairead

Fork

(Tip: Take in your garden tools at the end of the summer)

While I was out in the garden just now, I was thinking about organic change. You might remember the situation with the very tall and healthy weeds in the garden last year? Well… things have changed, the weeds are alive and well and they’ve been having children, so it’s even more densely packed down there. While the weather was cold I was able to ignore the debauchery but it was sunny yesterday. So I went and had a look – it’s bad. For a moment or two I was in despair. But a funny thing happened….

Pot

(Tip: Some pots are not frost-proof)

We went on our Saturday date to a coffee shop that also happens to have a garden centre. While we were wandering among the plants on our way to coffee the beginnings of an old love affair were stirring in my heart. No, I won’t be leaving Denis. It was my love affair with gardening. I had forgotten but the last time the garden was weed-free I had a great time planting and pruning. And before that I remember digging was great for anger! So I bought a bag of compost and a few herbs and when we got home I began gardening. Not the forced gardening where all the weeds must be pulled or dug and the grass must be cut and the hedges must be trimmed today. No, instead, the baby step organic gardening of pots and plants. One by one at my leisure I put the herbs and the compost into some pots. I enjoyed myself for three hours and then spent an hour admiring my work. (I positioned my chair carefully so that I couldn’t see the weeds.)

Veg

(Aren’t vegetables lovely?)

Like forced change, forced gardening is no fun… on the other hand organic gardening is lots of fun. I’m not talking about gardening without chemicals (which I also like..) I’m talking about gardening at your own pace, in your own time, you can even sit down while you do it! When I got up this morning I couldn’t wait to get outside and do some more organic gardening. I didn’t even stop when the rain came. The weeds won’t be cleared in a few days, it’ll probably take a few months, but that just means I’ll have months of fun!

Could this be the start of an organic way of life? Mairead.

I Like Change!

| Mairead

1

( Placemat pattern)

I have taken a writing break and what a great break it was! I’m back and nothing has changed…. In general most people say they hate change. But maybe it’s forced change they hate? Because every day, every moment we are alive we are changing. Our cells change, the air in our body changes, the beat of our heart changes, we change.

2

(Salt and pepper pattern)

Forced change on the other hand is when something outside of ourselves tells us, or forces us, to change. The redundancy, the cholesterol test, the BIG birthday. Well, who wouldn’t hate being forced?

3

(Spring pattern)

Since last writing I’ve been enjoying the other change – organic change. With organic change you notice something. Something catches your attention. You are drawn towards something. The “drawn towards it” is very gentle, very graceful. And it is also change – organic change. It’s slow, it has the pace of a snail but a snail with the occasional ability to fly. I am drawn towards writing in this snail-like way and I like this change, this organic change..

Organic Change Rocks!

Little Signs of Creative Misery.

| Mairead

2

(Busy insect in Mount Usher gardens last week)

I’m immersing myself in creative things. Making and doing but also reading about the creative process and watching movies about creative people. And everywhere I turn I see more articles or books or movies about creativity. It’s almost like there’s a catalog of creative information following me around, showing me more and more. But why would it be following me around?

1

(View from the gazebo)

Maybe it’s true that when we decide we want something, everything around us conspires to give it to us? Conspires to show us it is possible (to have this thing we want) at every turn? To tell us there is a way and the way is not as difficult as we think? To pull us out of our habits and our normal thinking? Maybe we are too stubborn to notice? Too happy in difficult, troubled, heavy work? Too content in awful life? If I can just ignore the little signs, then I can continue to be content in misery. Ah, lovely misery!

3

(A place to rest?)

The Little Signs…. the project we can’t find time to do. The book we can’t find time to write. The painting we can’t find time to paint. The quilt we can’t find time to sew. The holiday we can’t find time to take. The blog we can’t find time to write. The photograph we can’t find time to capture.  When we wish we could do something but just don’t have the time to do it… it’s a sign. In fact, in general when I wish, it’s a sign. The signs draw me in, a reminder of joy, but if I just can’t pull myself away from the luxury of misery…..

Time to take a break from misery, Mairead.

Look! It’s the break light!

| Mairead

3

(Graffiti in cafe toilet – I didn’t write it)

I’ve uncovered another of my patterns and this one is big (for me). I’ve been working away for the past month on productivity. I’ve read the book, Getting Things Done by David Allen. I’ve had sessions with my friend Ashleigh. I’ve started using the PomodoroPro. I’ve devised a schedule with thirty minute time slots. My diary was full of next thing to do’s. I had three weeks of amazing productivity.

1

(Rowing on the Liffey in Dublin, with the Ha’penny Bridge in the background)

And then I crashed. I’ve been tired and motivation-less since last Thursday. I know this is a pattern… it was pointed out to me that I do this regularly. What do I do? I drive myself forward, paying no attention to the vehicle I am driving. I run out of fuel. The vehicle stops. For the duration of my life the vehicle is my body. I do feed my body and lately I feed it well, but I have not been paying attention. A light on the dashboard was flashing and I ignored it. It was the “break” light. When I pay no attention, I don’t know it’s time to rest. To take a break, a siestas, some free time, do some day dreaming, be at ease.

2

(Scary but true)

There are probably lots of reasons why this is my pattern. As with all patterns, it starts because it’s necessary and it works. There is a clue as to why it continues. It’s part of my normal thinking, something I didn’t realise….. I think taking a break is unfair, unless you work exceedingly hard and I experience extreme shame when I take a break unless I am exhausted. The good news is that it’s like my “I have to eat meat every day” belief – crazy but normal for me. And as we saw with the meat belief once you become aware of your normal thinking it’s possible to let it go.

I’ll be taking baby steps with this one, step, rest, step, sit down, up we get , step, Mairead.

Birds and Toddlers do it.

| Mairead

1

(A Robin)

The birds are singing outside the window again as I write and I continue to be amazed at how much their singing affects me. For the better. I’m cheered just listening to them do their thing. They have no idea I’m here enjoying them. They are definitely not doing it for me. In fact I don’t know why they sing. It makes me feel good to imagine that they sing because they enjoy singing.

3

(More birds)

They remind me of the daughter, when she was a toddler. She used to sing to herself as she played with her toys. The tune was never recognisable and the lyrics were a jumble of words and syllables. One day I told her I would write down the words so she could keep her song forever. She didn’t seem that interested but she let me write every word and syllable.

2

(Rory, a long, long time ago when he was a toddler)

To the little toddler forever is right now, this moment, because this moment never ends… now is always now. To the adult, now is just a passing blink as we head straight for tomorrow. The singing birds halt everything…… and bring my attention to now, here and now, exactly where I am… now.

Now, where are you? Mairead.

Hello blog, whatcha got today?

| Mairead

2

(Brooklodge Hotel near Aughrim, Co. Wicklow)

Every day to write this blog, I sit down facing a window with a view to the sky. I never know what I’m going to write about. I never know if anything will turn up. I just start writing. There are some things I do know from experience. One, whatever turns up will take an hour to fully form itself on the page. Two, if I worry that nothing will turn up, nothing turns up. Three, if I edit as I go, I end up with a blank page. Four, if I worry that it’s not good enough, I won’t be able to write anything. Five, if I stop to worry that no one will like it, I won’t start up again… some days I don’t.

1

(Window with sky view)

So my best advice to myself is… just write it… just begin… just keep going… just finish. When I just write it stuff turns up, stuff I didn’t realise was available to me. Then I can get rid of bits and play around with bits and at the end of an hour I have a blog and I’m finished. Today that makes me think this advice could be useful for any endeavour.

3

(Just make… a cute design in the sugar)

Like the book you want to write… just write it. Like the picture you want to paint… just paint it. Like the workshop you want to attend… just attend it. Like the holiday you want to take… just take it. Like the food you want to cook… just cook it. Like the story you want to tell… just tell it. Like the work you want to do… just do it. Like the self you want to be… just be it… just begin… just keep going… just finish.

Just start, Mairead

Every day to write this blog, I sit down facing a window with a view to the sky. I never know what I’m going to write about. I never know if anything will turn up. I just start writing. There are some things I do know from experience. One, whatever turns up will take an hour to fully form itself on the page. Two, if I worry that nothing will turn up, nothing turns up. Three, if I edit as I go, I end up with a blank page.
So my best advice to myself is… just write it… just begin… just keep going… just finish. When I just write it  stuff turns up, stuff I didn’t realise was available to me. Then I can get rid of bits and play around with bits and at the end of an hour I have a blog and I’m finished. Today that makes me think this advice could be useful for any endeavour.
Like the book you want to write… just write it. Like the picture you want to paint… just paint it. Like the workshop you want to attend… just attend it. Like the holiday you want to take… just take it. Like the food you want to cook… just cook it. Like the story you want to tell… just tell it. Like the work you want to do… just do it. Like the self you want to be… just be it… just begin… just keep going… just finish.
Just start, Mairead

St. Patrick’s Mother’s Day.

| Mairead

2

(The Rock of Cashel – St Patrick definitely may have visited here (before the scaffolding and stone buildings))

Memories of my long weekend:

Saturday… sitting in the lounge of Brooklodge Hotel looking out the window, listening to wedding guests all dressed up and on their way to the church to see their friend/ sister/ daughter/ cousin/ brother get married. I sip soup. Very cosy here in the armchair.

1

(St Patrick may have passed by here…)

Sunday…. sitting in my bed reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. The sun is streaming through the window, it’s 1pm and I’m waiting for the immersion to heat water for a shower (it’s an Irish thing possibly related to St. Patrick). Feet warming up nicely as I wait.

Monday….sitting on the sofa drinking a glass of water, after a marathon floor washing session. Positively baking hot here in my skin.

3

(St. Patrick could have visited here…..)

Tuesday….. sitting in a car park in Maynooth waiting for the son to come back from an appointment. The birds are singing and it’s quite balmy here in the car. Whatever else happened during that weekend is gone, I can remember it… but it’s gone. If I read this in a year’s time or a month’s time or even a week’s time I may not even remember these bits. What’s real, here and now, are the birds singing and the warmth of the sun through the windows of the car.

What’s real, here and now? Mairead.

Imagine……

| Mairead

Blue door and window

(Blue French door…)

Right, I’ve set the dates for the next Success Team course. In fact there are two courses, one in the morning and one in the evening. The dates are Friday the 13th of April for the morning one – starting at 10am. Then for the evening one it’s Friday the 20th of April – starting at 7.30pm.

Three windows

(Blue French windows…)

So, in four weeks time a group of people will sit around the table. They may be excited or nervous or both or maybe something else entirely. One thing for sure they will be taking a brave step. It’s one of many brave steps they’ve taken on this path. The first was making a phone call, sending a text, or writing an email, I’m interested in this Success Teams, what’s it all about? And finally they make a commitment… to join the team.

Cashel Door

(Blue Irish door)

Usually one or two people admit that they very nearly drop out the night before. Some do drop out. Some never even tell me they are interested, so nothing happens. It’s very scary to think that your dreams can come true. That you could start having the life you always wanted….. That’s not normal thinking.

Imagine that… Mairead.