I Like Change!

| Mairead

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( Placemat pattern)

I have taken a writing break and what a great break it was! I’m back and nothing has changed…. In general most people say they hate change. But maybe it’s forced change they hate? Because every day, every moment we are alive we are changing. Our cells change, the air in our body changes, the beat of our heart changes, we change.

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(Salt and pepper pattern)

Forced change on the other hand is when something outside of ourselves tells us, or forces us, to change. The redundancy, the cholesterol test, the BIG birthday. Well, who wouldn’t hate being forced?

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(Spring pattern)

Since last writing I’ve been enjoying the other change – organic change. With organic change you notice something. Something catches your attention. You are drawn towards something. The “drawn towards it” is very gentle, very graceful. And it is also change – organic change. It’s slow, it has the pace of a snail but a snail with the occasional ability to fly. I am drawn towards writing in this snail-like way and I like this change, this organic change..

Organic Change Rocks!

Crafty Batteries.

| Mairead

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(I made rhubarb crumble)

For the past few months the husband has been making his own craft project. While there’s no wool or fabric, it is kinda interesting. He’s made an electronic box. That’s not the interesting bit. In the box are some bits and pieces of things you might find in a computer and on the box there’s a place to put an AA battery, there’s also a little screen (picture below). Did I mention before that he likes bargains? Well, he does. Ever since his brother, Liam, taught him the rules of bargain hunting at the supermarket, he’s been bringing home trophies. Sure we don’t need ten bottles of Pino Grigio, or five bags of spinach but they were 50% off.

NewImage

(The electronic box)

But there was always one product at the supermarket for which there were no rules – batteries. It seems like everything else has a sticker with the per kilo or per litre price and so no matter what weight (or volumn) your chosen bargain is you can see at a glance if it really is a bargain or just looks like a bargain. Batteries have names that indicate their weight. Names like Ultra Power or Plus Power but is one Ultra equal to two Plus? No one knows…… until now.

‘NewImage

(The bits and pieces)

So to the project… Buy lots of different makes of batteries. Put one of each pack into the slot on the electronic box. Turn on the switch. Battery starts giving up its power. Electronic box measures how much power it gives up. When battery’s power is all gone that’s how much power there was in the battery. By the time Denis had tested just ten batteries he knew much more than when he started…

NewImage

(The victims, now all deceased. Btw the Tesco battery is zinc chloride (I have no idea..) so it wasn’t part of the final analysis)

I don’t understand all the complications of the electronics, the alkaline versus the lithium, the watts versus the joules but the bottom line is….. there’s a difference between one battery and another and it’s nothing to do with the cute names. The entire article is at www.denishennessy.com where you can see which battery we’ll be buying from now on.

Go bargains! Mairead.

PS If you want him to test your favourite battery just send it over and he’ll plug it in!

Little Signs of Creative Misery.

| Mairead

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(Busy insect in Mount Usher gardens last week)

I’m immersing myself in creative things. Making and doing but also reading about the creative process and watching movies about creative people. And everywhere I turn I see more articles or books or movies about creativity. It’s almost like there’s a catalog of creative information following me around, showing me more and more. But why would it be following me around?

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(View from the gazebo)

Maybe it’s true that when we decide we want something, everything around us conspires to give it to us? Conspires to show us it is possible (to have this thing we want) at every turn? To tell us there is a way and the way is not as difficult as we think? To pull us out of our habits and our normal thinking? Maybe we are too stubborn to notice? Too happy in difficult, troubled, heavy work? Too content in awful life? If I can just ignore the little signs, then I can continue to be content in misery. Ah, lovely misery!

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(A place to rest?)

The Little Signs…. the project we can’t find time to do. The book we can’t find time to write. The painting we can’t find time to paint. The quilt we can’t find time to sew. The holiday we can’t find time to take. The blog we can’t find time to write. The photograph we can’t find time to capture.  When we wish we could do something but just don’t have the time to do it… it’s a sign. In fact, in general when I wish, it’s a sign. The signs draw me in, a reminder of joy, but if I just can’t pull myself away from the luxury of misery…..

Time to take a break from misery, Mairead.

Look! It’s the break light!

| Mairead

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(Graffiti in cafe toilet – I didn’t write it)

I’ve uncovered another of my patterns and this one is big (for me). I’ve been working away for the past month on productivity. I’ve read the book, Getting Things Done by David Allen. I’ve had sessions with my friend Ashleigh. I’ve started using the PomodoroPro. I’ve devised a schedule with thirty minute time slots. My diary was full of next thing to do’s. I had three weeks of amazing productivity.

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(Rowing on the Liffey in Dublin, with the Ha’penny Bridge in the background)

And then I crashed. I’ve been tired and motivation-less since last Thursday. I know this is a pattern… it was pointed out to me that I do this regularly. What do I do? I drive myself forward, paying no attention to the vehicle I am driving. I run out of fuel. The vehicle stops. For the duration of my life the vehicle is my body. I do feed my body and lately I feed it well, but I have not been paying attention. A light on the dashboard was flashing and I ignored it. It was the “break” light. When I pay no attention, I don’t know it’s time to rest. To take a break, a siestas, some free time, do some day dreaming, be at ease.

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(Scary but true)

There are probably lots of reasons why this is my pattern. As with all patterns, it starts because it’s necessary and it works. There is a clue as to why it continues. It’s part of my normal thinking, something I didn’t realise….. I think taking a break is unfair, unless you work exceedingly hard and I experience extreme shame when I take a break unless I am exhausted. The good news is that it’s like my “I have to eat meat every day” belief – crazy but normal for me. And as we saw with the meat belief once you become aware of your normal thinking it’s possible to let it go.

I’ll be taking baby steps with this one, step, rest, step, sit down, up we get , step, Mairead.

Birds and Toddlers do it.

| Mairead

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(A Robin)

The birds are singing outside the window again as I write and I continue to be amazed at how much their singing affects me. For the better. I’m cheered just listening to them do their thing. They have no idea I’m here enjoying them. They are definitely not doing it for me. In fact I don’t know why they sing. It makes me feel good to imagine that they sing because they enjoy singing.

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(More birds)

They remind me of the daughter, when she was a toddler. She used to sing to herself as she played with her toys. The tune was never recognisable and the lyrics were a jumble of words and syllables. One day I told her I would write down the words so she could keep her song forever. She didn’t seem that interested but she let me write every word and syllable.

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(Rory, a long, long time ago when he was a toddler)

To the little toddler forever is right now, this moment, because this moment never ends… now is always now. To the adult, now is just a passing blink as we head straight for tomorrow. The singing birds halt everything…… and bring my attention to now, here and now, exactly where I am… now.

Now, where are you? Mairead.

Hello blog, whatcha got today?

| Mairead

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(Brooklodge Hotel near Aughrim, Co. Wicklow)

Every day to write this blog, I sit down facing a window with a view to the sky. I never know what I’m going to write about. I never know if anything will turn up. I just start writing. There are some things I do know from experience. One, whatever turns up will take an hour to fully form itself on the page. Two, if I worry that nothing will turn up, nothing turns up. Three, if I edit as I go, I end up with a blank page. Four, if I worry that it’s not good enough, I won’t be able to write anything. Five, if I stop to worry that no one will like it, I won’t start up again… some days I don’t.

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(Window with sky view)

So my best advice to myself is… just write it… just begin… just keep going… just finish. When I just write it stuff turns up, stuff I didn’t realise was available to me. Then I can get rid of bits and play around with bits and at the end of an hour I have a blog and I’m finished. Today that makes me think this advice could be useful for any endeavour.

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(Just make… a cute design in the sugar)

Like the book you want to write… just write it. Like the picture you want to paint… just paint it. Like the workshop you want to attend… just attend it. Like the holiday you want to take… just take it. Like the food you want to cook… just cook it. Like the story you want to tell… just tell it. Like the work you want to do… just do it. Like the self you want to be… just be it… just begin… just keep going… just finish.

Just start, Mairead

Every day to write this blog, I sit down facing a window with a view to the sky. I never know what I’m going to write about. I never know if anything will turn up. I just start writing. There are some things I do know from experience. One, whatever turns up will take an hour to fully form itself on the page. Two, if I worry that nothing will turn up, nothing turns up. Three, if I edit as I go, I end up with a blank page.
So my best advice to myself is… just write it… just begin… just keep going… just finish. When I just write it  stuff turns up, stuff I didn’t realise was available to me. Then I can get rid of bits and play around with bits and at the end of an hour I have a blog and I’m finished. Today that makes me think this advice could be useful for any endeavour.
Like the book you want to write… just write it. Like the picture you want to paint… just paint it. Like the workshop you want to attend… just attend it. Like the holiday you want to take… just take it. Like the food you want to cook… just cook it. Like the story you want to tell… just tell it. Like the work you want to do… just do it. Like the self you want to be… just be it… just begin… just keep going… just finish.
Just start, Mairead

St. Patrick’s Mother’s Day.

| Mairead

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(The Rock of Cashel – St Patrick definitely may have visited here (before the scaffolding and stone buildings))

Memories of my long weekend:

Saturday… sitting in the lounge of Brooklodge Hotel looking out the window, listening to wedding guests all dressed up and on their way to the church to see their friend/ sister/ daughter/ cousin/ brother get married. I sip soup. Very cosy here in the armchair.

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(St Patrick may have passed by here…)

Sunday…. sitting in my bed reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. The sun is streaming through the window, it’s 1pm and I’m waiting for the immersion to heat water for a shower (it’s an Irish thing possibly related to St. Patrick). Feet warming up nicely as I wait.

Monday….sitting on the sofa drinking a glass of water, after a marathon floor washing session. Positively baking hot here in my skin.

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(St. Patrick could have visited here…..)

Tuesday….. sitting in a car park in Maynooth waiting for the son to come back from an appointment. The birds are singing and it’s quite balmy here in the car. Whatever else happened during that weekend is gone, I can remember it… but it’s gone. If I read this in a year’s time or a month’s time or even a week’s time I may not even remember these bits. What’s real, here and now, are the birds singing and the warmth of the sun through the windows of the car.

What’s real, here and now? Mairead.

Imagine……

| Mairead

Blue door and window

(Blue French door…)

Right, I’ve set the dates for the next Success Team course. In fact there are two courses, one in the morning and one in the evening. The dates are Friday the 13th of April for the morning one – starting at 10am. Then for the evening one it’s Friday the 20th of April – starting at 7.30pm.

Three windows

(Blue French windows…)

So, in four weeks time a group of people will sit around the table. They may be excited or nervous or both or maybe something else entirely. One thing for sure they will be taking a brave step. It’s one of many brave steps they’ve taken on this path. The first was making a phone call, sending a text, or writing an email, I’m interested in this Success Teams, what’s it all about? And finally they make a commitment… to join the team.

Cashel Door

(Blue Irish door)

Usually one or two people admit that they very nearly drop out the night before. Some do drop out. Some never even tell me they are interested, so nothing happens. It’s very scary to think that your dreams can come true. That you could start having the life you always wanted….. That’s not normal thinking.

Imagine that… Mairead.

More normal thinking.

| Mairead

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(Library pictures….. meat….)

I have always been a carnivore. My normal thinking around it would be: To survive a human needs to eat meat (almost) every day. While I have often considered eating less meat, my normal thinking told me I would not survive. Eating less meat is a fine aspiration but hardly worth my survival!

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(… possibly salmon….)

To be clear, I wasn’t exactly conscious of my normal thinking around survival and meat – I know it’s incorrect. I’m related to at least four vegetarians (hello Kate, Liam, Aidan and Rory!) and they have survived life without meat, two of them for their entire lives. That’s the thing about normal thinking – even when we know it’s incorrect we still believe it…..

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(… prawns?)

So, I thought I might give it a try – life without meat. And it’s going remarkably well. For one thing, I am surviving – useful. For another, I do not miss meat, even a little. For another, I love chopping vegetables, and I use the same chopping board with raw and cooked! For another, I’m packing more fibre into my day. All in all, it’s been fun.

Go vegetables, Mairead.